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Old 04-07-2013, 06:29 PM   #11
Keith66
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbiLynn View Post
When hubby gets like that, I just appease him and quit drinking for a week. By the end of the week, he is begging me to just have a beer and relax. Nothing like a couple homebrews for a good night's rest. Just go easy on them and you'll be fine. Act all happy and go-lucky when you've got a beer or 3 to drink, then get all pissy when you don't have any. It's like learned behavior, your other half will say, wow, he's such a nicer guy when he's got a beer in his hand.
Thanks BobbiLynn, I was hoping a woman would weigh in on the topic.

The local German club had a big Bockbierfest last night; and on the way home I decided that that would be my last beer for a week. You're probably right, in a week she'll be telling me "Okay, you made your point, just have a beer already." If not, I'll put my brew gear up for sale cheap.
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Old 04-07-2013, 07:17 PM   #12
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Beer is nice but not worth conflict at home. Usually after a week, or if I just do M-F without beer, he's ready to take me out and buy me a beer, or starts asking if I have any of that good beer ready. I really do get irritable though, when I can't enjoy a beer or 2 in the evening to help me relax and sleep. Then, not enough sleep, I get grouchy. There were times in the past when hubby gave me a hard time about my beer, but it was just a matter of working with him as far as what he thought was acceptable, then reach a nice compromise.

Another thing I do is clean and cook a lot on brew day. In between waiting for a boil, mashing, etc. And he sees how happy I am when I'm brewing. I try to share with him things I want to try, and because he's a good cook, I am him for recipe advice. Don't overdo it though and sound like you are obsessed. It took me 5 years to get hubby to accept my newest hobby. Got to ease them into it, and maybe sometimes have a beer when the other half isn't looking.

 
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Old 04-08-2013, 04:34 AM   #13
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Swmbo popped open a cider tonight, and I changed my mind. No "fasting." I think I'll just match her 1-to-1 and see how that goes for awhile. I appreciate everyone's input. Thanks!
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:08 AM   #14
bennie1986
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Just started kegging... That has upped the consumption but will probably level out when it gets to be the norm.

My wife doesn't drink at all and hates that I do. When we met she knew I could put them away and every now and again I have to remind her she knew what she was getting into. I can always stop when she really wants me to, like when she was pregnant and I have to be ready to drive to the Hospitle I quit for a few months all together with out a problem with each kid.

The way I figure it is if I'm not causing problems because of drinking then why the hell should she care?

 
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Old 04-08-2013, 03:10 PM   #15
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Started brewing in January. Since the, I would say consumption has more than doubled.

Have brewed 10 or so batches since then and enjoy trying them all. I expect our consumption to level off once I establish a few regular house brews. Then again, I don't know. $7 or so for a case of good beer makes it difficult to resist. Plus making it is fun.

Prior to brewing Ide say we drank a 12 to 24 beers a month. Now... 24 to 48 a month or more.
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Old 04-08-2013, 03:16 PM   #16
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I know every person is different, but just how much alcohol DOES it take to screw up a liver or kidney?
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Old 04-08-2013, 03:45 PM   #17
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Your wife's problem is not your drinking. It is her concern for your health and her sense of security--since her life is tied to your choices. Always keep that in mind. If you drink yourself into oblivion then she is dragged into oblivion with you. If you break your health with drink then she has to pick up the pieces. In marriage we have to remember that we are no longer two people, each going their own way who just happen to mingle certain parts of their life and are easily able to retain those things that "are none of her business." The moment you married her everything you do became her business and everything she does became yours--I'm speaking from 26 years of marriage, by the way, and from almost 20 years of doing marital counseling. This is because if one screws up both are screwed, so neither has a right to make any choice without considering its impact on the other.

If she thinks you are drinking enough to cause problems then your drinking has already caused a problem. Cut back. I drink at most one or two a night on weeknights and sometimes up to three on Saturdays. Occasionally I go above this when having friends over, but refuse, even then to let myself even get buzzed. If I ever start to feel a buzz I switch to iced tea, coffee or water. These are my choices, not for my sake alone, nor solely for the sake of my religion, but because I love my family and don't want to make choices that put their future in danger or that diminish their respect for me. Your wife's respect is the last thing you want to lose.

Instead of cutting off for a week and thinking that will prove you don't have a problem (the minute you are taken in by the "I'll show you I don't have a problem" you demonstrate that you do have a problem), why not set a rule for yourself (in conversation with her) that you'll limit yourself to a certain number per day? Then follow the rule, not because SWMBO makes you, but because you care for her and want to show it.
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Old 04-08-2013, 04:08 PM   #18
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Rather than limit beer intake like cluckk suggests, my rule is 30 push-ups and 15 curls per beer before I open the fridge, I have some 30lb dumbbells by the beer fridge. If I can't do them, no beer. I've never run into that issue so far. If I'm away from home, I owe myself some push ups, it can get rough after a long happy hour.

 
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:16 PM   #19
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I'm already only drinking what cluckk and BobbiLynn drink: typically 1 per night (but not every night), sometimes 2, occasionally 3; if I feel a buzz, I stop. Before I started homebrewing though, I'd spend $160 on 50 or so beers at Bevmo or Total Wine, and make that last about 2 months... roughly a beer every other day or less for me, and even less for swmbo! We were hardly drinking anything! Now that she sees me drinking EVERY DAY, she says she doesn't want to live with an alcoholic or a drunk, and I'm ruining my kidneys and liver! But wait, this is coming from a woman with class II obesity... I don't want to live with a cow or a whale, and she's ruining several of her organs including her heart!... not that I could ever point that out. Hence the term SWMBO. "Yes dear, I'll cut back." (Here's a ridiculous idea: How about I drink whatever the hell I want until you get down below 200 pounds!)

Afterthought: Drinking is supposed to be enjoyable. I enjoy drinking a beer with swmbo. I enjoy drinking more than one beer, even though swmbo usually only has one. I enjoy nursing a few beers throughout the day on the weekend. But I HATE drinking ANYTHING when I think she might be in the mood to complain. Just takes all the fun out of it. Not very relaxing at all.
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:27 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keith66
i'm already only drinking what cluckk and bobbilynn drink: Typically 1 per night (but not every night), sometimes 2, occasionally 3; if i feel a buzz, i stop. Before i started homebrewing though, i'd spend $160 on 50 or so beers at bevmo or total wine, and make that last about 2 months... Roughly a beer every other day or less for me, and even less for swmbo! We were hardly drinking anything! Now that she sees me drinking every day, she says she doesn't want to live with an alcoholic or a drunk, and i'm ruining my kidneys and liver! But wait, this is coming from a woman with class ii obesity... I don't want to live with a cow or a whale, and she's ruining several of her organs including her heart!... Not that i could ever point that out. Hence the term swmbo. "yes dear, i'll cut back." (here's a ridiculous idea: How about i drink whatever the hell i want until you get down below 200 pounds!)
+1!

 
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