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Old 09-18-2007, 01:54 PM   #11
brewitnow's Avatar
Jul 2007
Washington, DC
Posts: 83

A scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar together. The bar crowd is amazed and pleased to hear the Scotsman yell out: "Free Beer for everyone, on me!"

The newspaper headlines the next day read: "Irish ventriloquist found dead behind bar".
"I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind!"
Primary: empty like Bush's head.
Secondary: also empty
Conditioning: Eurotrash ale
Drinking: Simi Cider; Home Rule Hefe
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Old 09-18-2007, 08:32 PM   #12
Sep 2007
Posts: 266
Liked 8 Times on 5 Posts

An irishman walks into a bar... he says ouch!

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Old 09-18-2007, 08:46 PM   #13
krispy d
Mar 2007
Old Saybrook CT
Posts: 609
Liked 5 Times on 5 Posts

A guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds, "Oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're a jerk when you're drunk."
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Old 09-19-2007, 11:57 AM   #14
Travis KilPatrick
Jul 2007
Southwest Chicago Burbs
Posts: 28

an Irishman, Englishman, and Frenchman are all sitting at a bar. They all order a pint of their favorite beer--the Irishman of course ordering a Guinness. As the bartender puts the pints down in front of the three a fly lands in each glass.

The Frenchman with a disgusted look on his face immediately calls the bartender back and demands a new pint be poured.

The Englishman removes the fly from his glass and with a slight grimmace begins drinking his beer.

The Irishman grabs the fly and begins shaking it violently up and down above his glass yelling "spit it out yah bastard, spit it out"

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Old 09-19-2007, 09:12 PM   #15
Sep 2007
Posts: 292
Liked 10 Times on 3 Posts

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"

The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.

Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."

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