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Old 02-13-2013, 03:10 PM   #1
CreamyGoodness
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On their anniversary, think Louis ever came into the bedchamber and told his wife "darling, you're about to get Pasteurized!" If I were him, I would say that up to 7 times a week.

There has GOT to be a dirty joke involving Supreme Court Justice Learned Hand. Just cant make it happen.

They are illegal in NYC, but I would like to have a pet skunk, descented of course. I would sit at the local bar drinking bloody maries petting the skunk in my lap and talking like Andy Warhol. "Another beverage? yeeeahhhh that would be greeeeaaat wouldnt it Cornelius?"

I love bleu cheese. Only issue I have is that if it ever went bad, I would have no way of knowing.

The ONLY time I allow myself to say anything remotely racist is when I watch the Westminster Dog Show. I like to talk with a ridiculous German accent when the German Shepherd comes out, an Arabic accent when the Afghan Hound, etc. My Irish Wolfhound offers to get a pint of ale for my wife... usually by this time she's had quite enough of the dog show.

About a year ago I saw a man in my neighborhood riding a unicycle and wearing a derby. I cant explain it, and I cant for the life of me explain why, but this made me very angry.

Why do we say "blow me" when we are angry with someone? Those people I have said this to would be wholly unwelcome... well you get the idea.

No one had any cute or non-annoying children until I turned 28 years old. Not sure how such a global change occured... it should be documented.

Has anyone here ever ordered the live lobster at a diner?

These are some of the thoughts that have kept my circle of close friends extremely small.
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YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!


 
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Old 02-13-2013, 03:13 PM   #2
Varmintman
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And he is off early today. Must be that whole early to bed deal

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Old 02-13-2013, 03:33 PM   #3
Ostomo517
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After reading this, I decided, you know what I will have a beer with breakfast!

 
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Old 02-13-2013, 04:14 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CreamyGoodness View Post
About a year ago I saw a man in my neighborhood riding a unicycle and wearing a derby. I cant explain it, and I cant for the life of me explain why, but this made me very angry.
This is exactly why I like you!

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Old 02-13-2013, 06:47 PM   #5
Goofynewfie
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If you a women wearing any clothing that says guess, do not walk up behind her and say "250 right?"
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:53 PM   #6
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In college I actually got a phone number from a girl when I drunkedly guessed "Irish and German?" She didnt get it at first until I pointed to her t-shirt. Turns out she was Scottish and German, but it was enough for a smooch. I dont think she ever took my call though.
__________________
See, that's where the real story is.
In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.
Everyone's equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favorites.




YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!


 
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Old 02-14-2013, 01:32 PM   #7
Homercidal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CreamyGoodness View Post
There has GOT to be a dirty joke involving Supreme Court Justice Learned Hand. Just cant make it happen.
I have never heard of one about him, but what about his brother? Humperdink? (His friends just call him 'Hump'.)

 
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