Trolls - Page 23 - Home Brew Forums

Register Now!
Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumbling > Trolls

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-11-2013, 03:48 PM   #221
Catfish78
Recipes 
 
May 2012
Vantaa, Finland
Posts: 133
Liked 26 Times on 17 Posts


Quote:
Originally Posted by Vigo_Carpathian
Moth balls are only supposed to be added for 2 weeks and then removed. It also helps to soak them in methanol for a week before adding to secondary. No worries, we've all made that mistake. Just let the beer age a couple more months and the taste should mellow out.
You guys are life savers.

 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2013, 07:19 AM   #222
highgravitybacon
Recipes 
 
Sep 2012
Posts: 924
Liked 216 Times on 152 Posts


Quote:
Originally Posted by Catfish78 View Post
Okay guys I need some help. I knew that I would be away on business so I racked my APA into a secondary for 4 months. Here is the problem, I put moth balls in to keep it fresh and now it smells and tastes funny. What happened?
That's the autolysis. What you're describing is called "dry balling." If you soak your balls for more than a few days in primary, you get off flavors. Meaty, sweaty, barnyard kind of smells. Some people say you get a sort of manfunk smell or a au jus smell.

What I do is crush them really good with a rolling pin. If you have strong hands, you can use your hands to crush them. You want a pretty decent crush to crack them open. Maybe one week at most is all you need then.

 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2013, 07:33 AM   #223
Mongrel
Recipes 
 
Oct 2010
Sisters, Oregon
Posts: 1,745
Liked 238 Times on 149 Posts


I'm going to hide this way back here (hoping that not too many people take the time to read it) because it's probably the best written guide to trolling I've ever read.

The Elements of Trolling by Orglif


Step One: Case the Joint. No, this has nothing to do with weed. When preparing for a troll, take a moment to survey your environment. Do a headcount. If you have to, spend a day or two lurking and watching the flow of conversation between members to get an idea of the who's who and what's what of your mark.

Step Two: Pick a Choice Topic. My favorites are religion, politics, or sexuality. People are more willing to do battle when it's something they feel strongly about, and with those three topics are you more likely to find the people you need to pull a game like this off. Choose wisely, and pick something you're at least remotely familiar with so you don't sound like a complete ass.

Step Three: Get into Character. Your topic has been picked and you're gearing up for some fun. Now the key is to develop an attitude or a character of sorts, a persona that you want to play. Something wholly contradictory to the status quo that you observed during your time Casing the Joint. It's imperative that you choose a persona that won't come across as brash or ignorant on a non-confrontational platform, as during your challenge you'll be under criticism from all fronts and need as much footing as you can get. If you at least sound articulate, you'll get more attention and be twice as irritating to your mark.

Step Four: Set Your Bait. At first, you'll be temped to start your own thread and fill it with nonsensical idiocy. AVOID THIS. Your best bet is to take an existing topic and drop a simple one or two sentence troll and leave it alone, letting the line grow still as the fish sniff your worm. It's important that you sound serious enough to have your opinion considered, and yet silly enough to illicit a reaction from the general population who feels the need to "correct" you. Avoid base, crude nonsense like: "FUKK U SUCK @#%$" as the scope and range of your audience will diminish almost instantaneously when people realize you're nothing more than a stupid kid who never learned how to communicate. Remember: the less you say, the less they'll have to use against you. My personal favorite is an offhand joke, a snide remark or quip that offers very little of my persona's opinion, but reeks of condescension and generally leaves a foul taste in the reader's mouth. It's the quickest way to get a bite.

Step Five: Keep Your Calm. Once someone snags your bait, maintain a cool head and keep your focus. Don't spring at the first person to nibble; there are often people in groups who'll take the altruistic approach and bite soft, hoping to lure you out of hiding and reveal your true intentions. Don't be fooled. Tug back, but gently. Defend your position with enough energy to ruffle a few more feathers, but play it soft. The softer you tug, the more people you'll get hooked on your line tugging back.

Step Six: Yank the Line. You've gotten 4 or 5 people hooked to your crap now. They've surrendered their attention to you and are now yours to @#%$ with. At this point, feel free to yank the line as hard as you like. Remember though! Articulation and coherency are the key here! I usually single out one person on the line to hit the hardest; not the dumbest or the dullest as they'll quickly surrender to scrambled flames and stupidity. Pick someone intelligent--smart enough to fight back, but not smart enough to smell your troll. Say things they DONT want to hear in a manner they cannot help but listen to; again, avoid FUKK COK DICK TAMPON SMOKER as they wont listen to it.

Step Seven: Stamina, Stamina, Stamina. The battles might be long, twisted, and brutal, sometimes lasting for days. The trick is to keep that level head and constantly be aware of your opponents. More than once you'll be counter-trolled: someone trolling you back hoping to ruffle your feathers and make you lose footing. It's important to see those coming, and call them on it. Remember, you're aren't trolling, you're debating. At least, that's what you want them to think, right?

Step Eight: Stay Mobile. This means always be on your toes. Once a person is defeated (easily identified by their lack of participation or incoherency) move on to someone else quickly. If you linger on someone who's already bowed out, you'll come across as impetuous and rude. This is a joke you're playing on people; it's important that you remember this so that you'll always have the pretense of good humor to fall back on. Be sure they're really done before moving on, though, as having to reply to multiple participants can get strenuous.

Step Nine: Bow Out. Don't just disappear from the havoc you've created. Make it known that you're leaving the mess, often because "they just don't understand," or another semi-valid excuse. Leave on a note that offers nothing and they'll have nothing to try and tug you back with. You'll be tempted, for sure, but once you bite their lure, you are nothing but a monkey dancing for THEM this time. Gracefully step away from the mess, and don't look back (unless you want to keep it for a scrapbook).
__________________
THPTPTH!

 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2013, 01:09 PM   #224
BobbiLynn
Recipes 
 
Nov 2012
Posts: 2,951
Liked 791 Times on 539 Posts


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mongrel View Post
I'm going to hide this way back here (hoping that not too many people take the time to read it) because it's probably the best written guide to trolling I've ever read.
[I]
The Elements of Trolling by Orglif
Wow, didn't realize how much skill was involved.

The last time I tried to "dry ball" it didn't work out for anyone involved. Tried using my hands for the crush, bad idea. Almost painful to watch. And then the aftermath, it wasn't the manfunk smells that really bothered me but more the taste and texture. And remember when dry balling, you can't bottle. It has to be force carbed. That was a PITA and I mean that literally.

Varmintman Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2013, 05:11 AM   #225
Catfish78
Recipes 
 
May 2012
Vantaa, Finland
Posts: 133
Liked 26 Times on 17 Posts


Guys guys guys, I have to share, I just had the best beer ever. It's called Bud Light Lime!! Have you guys heard of this? Awesome, you should definitely check it out.

2
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2013, 06:04 PM   #226
BobbiLynn
Recipes 
 
Nov 2012
Posts: 2,951
Liked 791 Times on 539 Posts


I need help with my first batch! Decided to get right into all grain so went and bought the grains, hops and yeast. I was told that's all I needed. I heard I could do a partial boil if my kettle wasn't big enough. After adding the 14 pounds of grain, there was barely room to add water but I did get it all covered. After the 1 hour boil, there is just a huge mess and it's more like sludge than liquid. Did I miss a step or do I just need a bigger kettle? I guess I'll also need a way to strain this goop.

 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2013, 07:37 PM   #227
moscoeb
Recipes 
 
Apr 2012
Richmond, KY
Posts: 433
Liked 63 Times on 46 Posts


Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbiLynn
I need help with my first batch! Decided to get right into all grain so went and bought the grains, hops and yeast. I was told that's all I needed. I heard I could do a partial boil if my kettle wasn't big enough. After adding the 14 pounds of grain, there was barely room to add water but I did get it all covered. After the 1 hour boil, there is just a huge mess and it's more like sludge than liquid. Did I miss a step or do I just need a bigger kettle? I guess I'll also need a way to strain this goop.
Na, your fine. Just pour it all into a fermenter and pitch the yeast. Bread yeast is fine (people here may say you have to buy this fancy "beer yeast", whatever! It's all the same!) and let it go for at least 5 days then bottle!

 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2013, 07:43 PM   #228
BobbiLynn
Recipes 
 
Nov 2012
Posts: 2,951
Liked 791 Times on 539 Posts


Quote:
Originally Posted by moscoeb View Post
Na, your fine. Just pour it all into a fermenter and pitch the yeast. Bread yeast is fine (people here may say you have to buy this fancy "beer yeast", whatever! It's all the same!) and let it go for at least 5 days then bottle!
Thanks, I feel so much better now, phew, thought I messed something up!!

 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2013, 07:48 PM   #229
CreamyGoodness
HBT_SUPPORTER.png
 
CreamyGoodness's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Jul 2011
Ossining, NY
Posts: 7,491
Liked 2133 Times on 1409 Posts


I would laugh if it werent 100% possible that I could have been the one writing that post unironically had I jumped straight into brewing beer.
__________________
See, that's where the real story is.
In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.
Everyone's equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favorites.




YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!


 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2013, 07:58 PM   #230
BobbiLynn
Recipes 
 
Nov 2012
Posts: 2,951
Liked 791 Times on 539 Posts


Quote:
Originally Posted by moscoeb View Post
Na, your fine. Just pour it all into a fermenter and pitch the yeast. Bread yeast is fine (people here may say you have to buy this fancy "beer yeast", whatever! It's all the same!) and let it go for at least 5 days then bottle!
Just one more question, I'm not sure what you mean by "pitch the yeast". I went ahead and added all the ingredients at the beginning of the boil, this won't be a problem will it?

 
Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
A Yooper joining the Trolls Yooper Great Lakes Homebrew Forum 4 05-29-2008 11:10 PM
Zul'jin Trolls An Irish Stout Extract Zul'jin Extract Brewing 41 02-06-2008 04:56 PM


Forum Jump