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Old 01-25-2013, 03:56 AM   #1
iambeer
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I hadn't labeled my yeast containers back then. I would just remember them by detail like the color of the wort, etc. It worked great--or so I thought.

One day, I was drinking an APA with (supposedly) WLP001. But the yeast was very WLP300 ish. Then it dawned on me... The babies might have been switched at starter! Which would explain the rude and uninvited Wang in my traditional hefeweizen! Or a trappist yeast accidentally cultured into a big old container of light american lager--OOPS!

Well, maybe you had to be there. But for me, it was a mini-epiphany. One that ignited the systematic death of billions upon billions of eukaryotic fungi.

Today you'll find all my containers labeled -- with impunity.

But before the new yeast regime took hold in a cool dark refrigerator, I had to kill literally billions and billions of microorganisms to keep the strains in line. I pray they rest in peace, those microbiotic souls that lost their way. I blame only myself and my bad label practices.

My goodwife reminded me "it's just yeast" to which I could only respond by raising my glass before the flame, seeing its light flickering through the deep golden ale. My eyelids shut and I shock my head to say, "No. It's all of yeast." Well, she gave me the finger and left me there then, but I digress.

The yeast have been used in bread dough baked into droll shapes, as well as waffles, and thereby destroyed. But still, I have several beers that are very unexpected---the yeast has been switched so you never know what you are going to get!

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Old 01-25-2013, 04:16 AM   #2
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I have one nondescript mason jar in my fridge right now that I've been tempted to brew a mystery batch with. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not that adventurous.
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Old 01-25-2013, 07:43 PM   #3
daksin
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Did you mean to post this in Drunken Ramblings? It certainly seems to fit the bill better than most.

Also: why was there a wang in your hefeweizen? I wouldn't drink a beer after finding a wang in it.
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Old 01-25-2013, 07:47 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daksin View Post
why was there a wang in your hefeweizen? I wouldn't drink a beer after finding a wang in it.
Agreed.

 
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Old 01-26-2013, 12:46 AM   #5
iambeer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daksin
Did you mean to post this in Drunken Ramblings? It certainly seems to fit the bill better than most.

Also: why was there a wang in your hefeweizen? I wouldn't drink a beer after finding a wang in it.
I was in fact so drunk that I accidentally poyshted in the drunk forum. The stars had aligned that night.

Now to answer your second question I must first agree that I would choose not to consume anything with 'a wang' in it when presented with the option. Im not alone in this. In a 1999 study it became know that a wang means a dongle when the urban dictionary leaked it. Leaking the wang is no easy feat in fact it takes balls. And according to an internet post written around the same time the study was published, the anon author opined he or she does not prefer an unidentified Chinese sausage in consumables, much less a schlong dipped intentionally into the safe sheltered womb of fermenting beer ...I presume. Unfortunately the anon source did not respond to my inquiries.

My wheat beers are stricken with wang. Stricken. With. Wang, sir.

Not a wang. Not a wang gang or even an uncountable number of wang. Just wang.

This 'wang' is a documented condition that occurs with hefeweizen from unknown circumstances. Yes I meant wang the condition, not the object. I hope this serves to clear up confusion. By wang i dont mean Twang Tang or even Twat and certainly not Arse. I imagine in my tiny mind that wangled ale tastes better and that arsed ale is another category of bad to worse.

Thus youll be happy to know I have decided to use spring water next time.

Peace in the middle east!

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Old 01-26-2013, 01:38 AM   #6
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Entertaining at least..........
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Old 01-26-2013, 07:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duboman View Post
Entertaining at least..........
I'm here all week.
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Old 01-27-2013, 12:17 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iambeer View Post
One that ignited the systematic death of billions upon billions of eukaryotic fungi.
The Jedi yeast are going to feel that one.

 
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