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Old 01-03-2013, 02:47 PM   #21
Lushife
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Jul 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Airplanedoc
Its the first really nice day of spring, Just before the beginning of the shift my phone rings.

Me: Hello
Employee: (coughing) I don't think I am going to make it into work this afternoon, I'm feeling pretty bad (cough, cough)
Me: That sounds like a pretty bad cough you have there
Employee: Yea, I think I caught that (cough) bug that has been going around.
Me: Oh yea which one is that.
Employee: I think its that sickle cell or what ever it is that's going around, I feel horrible. (cough)
Me: That is pretty bad stuff, I think you should probably get in contact with the CDC or Mayo clinic.
Employee: I really feel bad, but I don't think its that serious is it (Cough)?
Me: Well since sickle cell is a genetic blood disorder that rarely affects middle aged white guys, I would say its serious. You could be a really rare case, and they may want to do a study on you. So unless you have a Dr slip, your day off is unapproved, have a nice golf game.
Wow, what an idiot. I've never heard of someone of calling out cause they caught sickle cell.

 
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Old 01-03-2013, 05:55 PM   #22
dunnright00
 
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I used to work in a print shop, and as some may be aware when you print an image that needs to go all the way to the edge you call it a bleed. So to ensure this you oversize the image and trim it with some left over (the bleed).

One day we were printing a set of manuals for some hospital or medical agency. Saddle-stitch binding with and image of a mother holding a baby and this image went all the way to the edge.

As we were inspecting the finished product we were instructed to "Make sure that the baby's head bleeds".


We had to keep saying it over and over... poor baby.
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Old 01-04-2013, 07:28 PM   #23
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Co-worker 1: "I don't have an ATM card. I'm not going to pay a bank to get my own money."
Co-worker 2: "Ok I gotta go, I don't want to catch your old."
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Old 01-05-2013, 08:48 AM   #24
Airplanedoc
 
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The back story An employee gets a call on valentines day from his girlfriend who informs him that "he needs to go get tested".

Fast forward to next day, employee calls and says he was a little later leaving the free clinic than anticipated and he will be a bit late for work. (this is on afternoon shift)

Employee shows up, with a note from the said clinic, saying that he left at whatever time, blah blah blah...

For the curious He also tested positive, nothing penicillin wouldn't kill.

Here is the good part...

Then he tells me "He is dumping the former GF but it's not a total loss, because there was a hot chick waiting in the (free clinic) lobby also, and I got her phone number."

I wanted to Gibbs head slap this kid so bad it wasn't funny.

When the shock of this statement wore off, I replied something along the lines of " WTF is wrong with you, you don't pick up women at the free clinic.... She is there for the same reason you were or worse.... She could have something penicillin doesn't kill....." (Begin confused stare on employees face) I follow up with "Your junk could turn green and fall off or something"

To which I get more Beavis and Butthead type stare and vocal response while he processes the mental picture I just gave him, but the lights are starting to come on now.

After sufficient time for this to sink in I said "Show me where you got her number," so he pulls out of his pocket and hands me a name and number written on a piece of STD literature. I opened a desk drawer and rummaged around and found a lighter and burned it right in front of him. He replies "what are you doing, she was really hot?"

I replied "trying to save you life, get down there and get to work"

I think I am still traumatized about this several years later, What is wrong with some peoples kids?

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Old 01-06-2013, 02:35 PM   #25
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Well, since I work from home full time, the only odd things I hear/read at work come from you guys. The most recent came from Creamy's okra video...."Its got an aftertaste of boot"
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:12 PM   #26
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I work for a really wealthy suburb north of Chicago, and the residents there are really demanding and, quite frankly, spoiled most of the time. Since I am the Forester, I get to deal with the angry morons when the Village has to remove a dying tree in the parkway. I hear a lot of variations of the same old ****: "you can't remove that tree. It's hundreds of years old" (no, it's a poplar, they don't live that long). " what do you mean you are going to remove the tree? What will I tell my neighbors? It will be an embarrassment!" (Really?)
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:29 PM   #27
skillzman1
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Dec 2011
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Well you guys have some doozies...I'm an exterminator for a living...I dont have much that I've heard thats too far out.........but some of the things I've seen?!?!?! I think thats even worse in some cases because its not just an ill thought out mistake!

 
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:51 PM   #28
brewfreeordie
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Feb 2012
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I was on a framing crew and a new kid was hired. The kid was the son of the contractor's friend. Our foreman put him right to work:

"Pick up that sawzall and go downstairs. Cut out all the thresholds-'
"The what?'
"This!" he kicked the bottom of the stud with his boot "This right here, wherever you can walk through the wall, wherever we're gonna put a door."
"OK."

5 minutes later one of the framing crew came upstairs laughing, telling us we had to go check this out. The kid was on his knees cutting out the threshold, but he was just pushing the blade back and forth, and hadn't plugged it in.

"You know, you can plug that in."
"You can?" the kid beamed back "that's cool"
"Yeah, but don't bother. You're f**king fired."

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Old 01-06-2013, 03:58 PM   #29
skillzman1
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Dec 2011
saratoga, new york
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Hahaha^
yeah..stay away from the power tools that 'bite' kid!

 
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:10 PM   #30
jphebbie2
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Apr 2011
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^^ you should have let him run the table saw before you fired him. Could have been entertaining.
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