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Old 12-14-2012, 06:44 PM   #1
CreamyGoodness's Avatar
Jul 2011
Ossining, NY
Posts: 7,491
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Need a little support here, someone to tell me I was right. So, after making a lovely (read: cheap) pork shoulder into crock-pot pulled pork, I was left with a large shoulder bone. Awesome!

So my plan was to get a bunch of these together over the span of a year and make a long string of shoulder bones tied together with twine for the front balcony.

The other day, SWMBO decides she is going to clean up THE MAN ROOM, and I hear a shriek. Crap. So I ask, "did you hurt yourself?"

"Noooooo... James... what the *deleted* is THIS?!"

"Why, sweetheart, its just a pork bone bleaching in hydrogen peroxide!"

*closes eyes, touches the bridge of her nose*

"Ok... I shouldn't have asked that like that... what I should have asked is WHY THE *rudies* IS THERE A WHITE MEAT BONE IN MY TUPPERWARE ON A BOOKSHELF IN THE GUEST ROOM??!"

"...MAN room"

"NO! DAMMIT JAMES... sigh... my mother is sleeping in this room next weekend..."

"Like she'd ever know..."

"Oh My God... can't believe I'm discussing this. James... what are you doing with a white meat bone? Why would you possibly need this?? And what's the crap floating on the top of the peroxide??"

"Fat from the marrow I think..."

*gags* "Throw it away!!"

"No, Im keeping it for Halloween"

"Almost a year from now?!"

"... yeah?"

After more back and forth I decided there was only one unbiased party I could turn to. My father. He was no help. I'm very disappointed in him.

In the end... she won. The bone I had spent literally weeks bleaching is now in a landfill. There is no justice domestically.

*sigh* it will pass.
See, that's where the real story is.
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:47 PM   #2
AZ_IPA's Avatar
Jun 2008
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You should be tar and feathered for making pulled pork in a crock pot.

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Old 12-14-2012, 06:51 PM   #3
Dan's Avatar
Oct 2010
Makakilo, Hawaii
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I'd like to reply with something witty but I can't stop laughing long enough!

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Old 12-14-2012, 06:54 PM   #4
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Mar 2012
Dallas, TX
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:55 PM   #5
Sep 2012
Silver Spring, MD
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Wow, that is hysterical. Creamy, your house must be a laff riot a minute.

Actually, you sound a little like my dad. I can't tell you how many times I came home as a kid to find some random animal skull, bone, etc. on the counter. When I was ten, it was the best thing in the world. One time, he even found a dead falcon by the side of the road (hit by a car) and brought it home in a plastic bag. We thought it was so awesome! My mom did not.
For they garner the succulent berries of the hop and mass and sift and bruise and brew them and they mix therewith sour juices and bring the must to the sacred fire and cease not night or day from their toil, those cunning brothers, lords of the vat. -James Joyce

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Old 12-14-2012, 07:03 PM   #6
Dec 2011
Culpeper, VA
Posts: 2,640
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While I think that is a fine idea. I would have opted to use a glass jar with lid and tuck them away under a bed or something...

Women do not like anything even remotely "nasty" in the house but what she don't know wont' hurt her. Your downfall was using her tupperware...big no no. I once used SWMBO's baking dish as a drain pan for the car...i never heard the end of that one.
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Old 12-14-2012, 07:09 PM   #7
Golddiggie's Avatar
Dec 2010
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I could almost hear the banjo playing when you spoke...

Another "you might be a redneck" line...
"If you save pork shoulder bones for Halloween decorations... You might be a redneck."
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Old 12-14-2012, 07:20 PM   #8
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Sep 2012
Waco, TX
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Next time you make delicious pork shoulder... don't give her any...
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." ~Ernest Hemingway

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Old 12-14-2012, 07:32 PM   #9
Jul 2012
Grand Rapids, Michigan
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I would have thrown it away. Sorry, man. Have to agree with your lady-partner-friend-wife-whatevs-thing.

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Old 12-14-2012, 07:36 PM   #10
bchurch's Avatar
Aug 2010
Mont Clare, Pa
Posts: 393
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See the problem is that you are going about it all wrong. First thing you need to do is go down to the pond and get yourself some frogs, maybe at different stages in their life cycle. After you get some of those you need to get some embalming fluid and mason jars (which I am sure you already own). Now I am sure you know what to do with these. Prop them up on said shelf and wait..... After she discovers them in disgust offer to replace them with a less disgusting option. A bleached pork bone perhaps. If that does not work see above post involving slap a bitch.

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