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View Poll Results: What is your theory about using bears in fermentation?
I don't like it. In fact, I hate it a LOT. 12 10.00%
Dry Bearing is the super awesomest!!!! 19 15.83%
Gnome detection is too expensive. 32 26.67%
My dog eats the bears. 5 4.17%
I find myself attracted to bears. 6 5.00%
I am attracted to my dog. 9 7.50%
My dog is attracted to my bear. 12 10.00%
You get the idea..... 13 10.83%
I likes me some BREW FARIES. 27 22.50%
Hi, what was the question? 31 25.83%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 120. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-12-2012, 10:05 PM   #31
cheezydemon3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whattawort View Post
I didn't have my phone at the ready when they ambushed me. I was too busy swatting and kicking anyway.

FYI - polar bears + orcas + beer = epic battle & ruined beer
I think I'm just going to recruit a walrus and call it quits. The western alaska natives that brew on the sly will sell me one for a 24pack of toilet paper and 2 gallons of milk.
someone is having you on, mate.


I suspect that the gnomes parading around as faries in your brewery are also packing harpoons.

Bears only get a whale in the breathing hole scenario. How else in the name of all that is unholy would a bear catch a whale????

And as for a whale offing a bear? Never happen.

A whale could kill a bear, but prepare to get scratched and gored the eff up. No way a bear is getting mistaken for a flock of krill.

 
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Old 12-12-2012, 10:21 PM   #32
Cromwell
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Krill don't come in flocks, silly. A bunch of krill is a field. Hence the movie, the krilling fields.

And who says a nice looking well-mannered bear can't catch a whale? Whales have needs too, my friend.
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Old 12-12-2012, 10:28 PM   #33
HawksBrewer
 
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I thought we already had this discussion at length... at least I haven't had any bear OR gnome problems since I started adding laser-toting sharks to my primaries. Such a simple fix and yet so many have failed to act on it. Some things I guess I'll just never understand.

 
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:43 AM   #34
cheezydemon3
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Every freaking post in this thread is a work of art. Where are the judges????????

Laser beams, as I noted on page 352 of my dissertation, cause instantaneous scalding of the wort. WHY?????

A shot here and there to fend off gnomes would be imperceptible, but NO!!!!!!!! The bastardleywhales shoot off their lasers for their wives, for their girlfriends, for their schoolmates, for passing flocks of dolphins.....GODS DAMN IT!!!!! The fracking things turned my 830 billion gallons of pale ale into a gods damned STOUT!!!!!!!!!

They shoot them off at passing froth!!!!!!!!! Arrogant frackers....

Is it any wonder why a National Geographic crew went in with a handfull of baked potatoes, and all that came out was a pair of burnt rubbers??????(no laughing)

 
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:08 AM   #35
sudbuster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheezydemon3 View Post
Every freaking post in this thread is a work of art. Where are the judges????????

Laser beams, as I noted on page 352 of my dissertation, cause instantaneous scalding of the wort. WHY?????

A shot here and there to fend off gnomes would be imperceptible, but NO!!!!!!!! The bastardleywhales shoot off their lasers for their wives, for their girlfriends, for their schoolmates, for passing flocks of dolphins.....GODS DAMN IT!!!!! The fracking things turned my 830 billion gallons of pale ale into a gods damned STOUT!!!!!!!!!

They shoot them off at passing froth!!!!!!!!! Arrogant frackers....

Is it any wonder why a National Geographic crew went in with a handfull of baked potatoes, and all that came out was a pair of burnt rubbers??????(no laughing)
Yeah, and I scraped up enough to get a lifetime membership for this.....

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Old 12-13-2012, 03:18 AM   #36
Airborneguy
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Cheezy, where do you live? I'm taking a road trip in April or May and might be able to make a pit stop to meet your madness.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:19 AM   #37
BobbiLynn
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Quote:
do NOT use bear pellets. always use whole bears. trust me on this one.
I agree!!! The pellets really do give an off flavor.


My stomach will be sore tomorrow laughing at, I mean with, you all.

 
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:50 AM   #38
Walshy87
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I wrap my carboy on tinfoil to prevent the gnomes from sexting the bears!

 
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Old 12-13-2012, 06:31 AM   #39
Airplanedoc
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Walshy87 View Post
I wrap my carboy on tinfoil to prevent the gnomes from sexting the bears!
Does the tinfoil help prevent the wort scalding from the laser eyed sharks and whales as well? I know it has cut down on the negative waves from the gnomes. I kept telling them "Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" but it didn't seem to work so I went with the tinfoil

 
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:51 PM   #40
jerrodm
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At one point in this conversation (when it was still confined to bears, gnomes, faerie and turtles), I felt like I could contribute meaningfully. The level you guys have taken it to, however, is truly astounding. You're so far above me, I'm just sitting back in awe.
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