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Old 12-07-2012, 09:08 PM   #1
CreamyGoodness
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1) Sweaters look great on almost 100% of women.

2) Car alarms should be outlawed.

3) If a package of food has the word "food" written on it... it isnt food.

4) If you try to make a cat into a vegetarian, the cat will either die or run away... and you a blithering twit.

5) The most noble schools of though, isms if you will, are the ones that no longer exist when their goals are met.

6) If someone wishes you a happy holiday, and you dont celebrate that holiday, they were still being nice.

7) Don't eat yellow snow. Don't eat snow of any color. Unless of course you live in Montana. Go ahead and eat white, Montana snow.

8) If you handle a hot pepper with your hands, DONT DO ANYTHING WITH YOUR HANDS OTHER THAN HANDLE THE HOT PEPPER!

9) You never hear someone say "that's just how I was born!" or "I can't help it!" in reference to one of their positive attributes.

10) All non-dessert foods taste better with a gravy or sauce.

Final Bonus Truism) Only the dissatisfied, unhappy, or stressed advance and invent things. Ever see a primitive tribesman in Borneo on National Geographic who wasn't smiling?



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YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!


 
Old 12-07-2012, 09:10 PM   #2
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Grog’s Rules for Food (which can count as truisms)

#1 – NO FOOD in my food. which means leave out the BERRIES NUTS and TWIGS

#2 – tomatoes are the only fruit that should be cooked

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

#4 – Ketchup is for potatoes, except for mashed or baked

#5 – do NOT get between the fat man and the buffet table. (more of a safety tip than a rule)

#6 – Cheese

#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

#8 – Arby’s sucks ass
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Old 12-10-2012, 04:50 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrogNerd View Post
Grog’s Rules for Food (which can count as truisms)

#1 – NO FOOD in my food. which means leave out the BERRIES NUTS and TWIGS

#2 – tomatoes are the only fruit that should be cooked

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

#4 – Ketchup is for potatoes, except for mashed or baked

#5 – do NOT get between the fat man and the buffet table. (more of a safety tip than a rule)

#6 – Cheese

#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

#8 – Arby’s sucks ass

+1. Though you have to pick a Carolina style. East or West NC, or SC.

 
Old 12-10-2012, 06:06 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrunkleJon View Post
+1. Though you have to pick a Carolina style. East or West NC, or SC.
my sauce is

3 parts ketchup
2 parts apple cider vinegar
1 part water

+some spices & brown sugar


which one is that?
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Old 12-10-2012, 06:52 PM   #5
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If I recall correctly, NC East style is the simple Vinegar/hot pepper, West has generous doses of ketchup mixed in and I believe SC has mustard in the mix.

I believ. that makes yours more of a lexington or western NC style. Still delicious though.

 
Old 12-10-2012, 07:23 PM   #6
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so good, make ya jump up and smack yer momma
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drinking: Otto M. Gourd Pumpkin Barleywine, Jewel Thieves Apple Wine, Fresh Squee Zed IPA - bottle conditioning: LoCo Foot Barleywine, Basque cider - lagering : Schwarzbier - fermenting: apple wine, Skeeter Pee - on deck: Grodziskie

 
Old 12-10-2012, 07:25 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrogNerd View Post
Grog’s Rules for Food (which can count as truisms)

#1 – NO FOOD in my food. which means leave out the BERRIES NUTS and TWIGS

#2 – tomatoes are the only fruit that should be cooked

#3 – it’s Carolina-style for pulled pork, Texas for brisket, Memphis for chicken and Kansas City for ribs

#4 – Ketchup is for potatoes, except for mashed or baked

#5 – do NOT get between the fat man and the buffet table. (more of a safety tip than a rule)

#6 – Cheese

#7 – if you’re eating at a restaurant, you can complain about any problems with your food &/or service, but NEVER EVER send YOUR FOOD back to the kitchen

#8 – Arby’s sucks ass
In re: #2, you've obviously never tried fried apples. I pity you.

In re: #4, the difference between someone who eats ketchup and someone who doesn't is that one of them has been to a tomato processing plant. My stomach is turning just thinking about it...

The rest are, obviously, all correct. With the exception of #1. I love nuts and berries (esp. wheat berries, malted and crushed and mashed and fermented and in my glass).

 
Old 12-10-2012, 07:31 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerrodm View Post
In re: #4, the difference between someone who eats ketchup and someone who doesn't is that one of them has been to a tomato processing plant. My stomach is turning just thinking about it...
Ketchup is for people that don't like the taste of food.

If you need ketchup, you did something wrong.

 
Old 12-10-2012, 07:32 PM   #9
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Not sure this fits but...

It is not homemade pie if you used store bought crust.
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Old 12-10-2012, 07:32 PM   #10
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#10 is completely wrong.

What's the best way to serve a nice steak? Rare/medium-rare, with nothing but a little salt and pepper. Unless you count "cow blood" as a "sauce," keep it simple, dammit!
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