I have one of those ideas that has to have already been thought of and dismissed, as its so obvious. Could you use one of those $2 hand siphons from the hardware store with the hand "bulb" to siphon your beer or mead? That's got to be some reason why no one is doing this...
See, that's where the real story is.
In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.
Everyone's equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favorites.
YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!