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Old 10-26-2012, 01:35 PM   #1
CreamyGoodness
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Taking one's own life, particularly in such a violent fashion as jumping in front of a train, is no laughing matter. Before you jump, please see a licensed therapist, a clergyperson, or dial in to a 24 hour suicide hotline.

Because, let me tell you right now, the people stuck underground between stations for an hour and fifteen minutes on their morning commute are going to feel limited sympathy for you. At least one person will say "Sheeeeeeeet give me a rake and a hose and I'll get this train moving again.


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Old 10-26-2012, 01:46 PM   #2
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Yeah... I had posted about this same thing a few months ago...

A guy decided to step in front of an Acela train doing about 120 MPH about a mile north of my stop. He also decided to do this right before the evening commute. We were stopped on the tracks for a little over an hour before they rolled our PACKED train through the "crime scene" at about two miles an hour given the flood of cops and emergency workers on scene. As we rolled through, we're all thinking the scene was cleaned up.

ehhh... no. no it wasn't.

Lemme give ya a hint of what a body looks like after it was hit by a train doing 120 miles an hour... No piece was larger than, say... a forearm... but you could still tell what a majority of the peices used to be... including both "inside" and "outside" pieces. And they were EVVVVERYWHERE

That sucked. Bad. Like I was saying that day when I was posting about it... it's not the gore that got me. That stuff doesn't really bother me. It was the fact that, 90 minutes prior, that was just some guy walking around and was a whole person, probably with some family.
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:48 PM   #3
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Like somebody offing themself is going to be considerate of your commute!!!!!

Tell the Effing Douchebaggers that decide to ride their bike in the main road during rush hour.

They may or may not be depressed, but should have a lot more consideration for other people since they are actively trying to live longer.

 
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:50 PM   #4
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video no workie
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:57 PM   #5
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Darwinism in action, man you gotta love it!

 
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:23 PM   #6
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Weird Al - Why does this always happen to me?


I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl
There was a twelve-car pile-up, everybody dead
And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere
As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head

And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him
Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money - what a jerk
Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again
Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work

Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen?
(Why) Why does this always happen to me?


EDIT: FYI - Ben Folds plays piano on this track.

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Old 10-26-2012, 02:57 PM   #7
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Unfortunately a 15 year old girl just jumped in front of a train here two days ago, with a large crowd of her classmates as witnesses.

I've seen around 5-8 'man under' jobs as we call them. Very disgusting, and bodies don't normally bother me. But, one of them led to the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life, as sick as that sounds.

Long story short, the guy entered the system at a station that has seperate northbound and southbound entrances, unlike other stations that have one main mezzanine no matter what side of the street you enter on. Needless to say, he entered on the wrong side, swiping his card and paying the fare. Not wanting to re-pay, he decided to try crossing the tracks. He made it across the S/B track, and the express track, but a N/B train hit him. Somehow, this guy survived (only one I've ever seen personally). Unfortunately he lost his left arm and left leg. As he was being lifted into the ambulance, an Emergency Service cop asked him why he crossed the tracks. He explained what I said above about not wanting to swipe again. Totally dead pan, the cop responded, "So instead of $2.25, it cost you and arm and a leg."

How many people can actually say they saw something cost someone an arm and a leg, literally?
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:09 PM   #8
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The conductor came into our car 45 minutes in to tell us they were considering doubling back to Grand Central because either a) someone was hit by a train at Spring Street or b) someone fell between cars onto the track.

If its b, I have a little more sympathy seeing as how it was an accident, but it says on the doors in huge font that there is no passing through while the train is moving... this is why.
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:14 PM   #9
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If I was pissed off at life enough to kill myself, then **** you and your mother****ing commute - **** you up your stupid mother****ing ass, I hope you've got to sit in an ugly, smelly train car for five hours, with no working toilet and a full ****ing bladder, while they scrape my innards off the track. **** all of you ********. If I'm mad enough at how the world's treated me... then up yours!
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:16 PM   #10
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A final act of defiance? You're mad enough at the world that you are not only willing to risk the well-being of numerous commuters but the lives and welfare of numerous others who depend on those people (everyone from the surgeon on his way to work to the nanny on hers to the cop who is needed on his beat in half an hour.

Sounds like that sort of person managed to be as big a liability in death that they were in life. Kind of epic, when you think about it.
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See, that's where the real story is.
In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.
Everyone's equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favorites.




YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!


 
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