That if you take an ordinary saltine cracker and bite off two corners that are directly across from each other, it will now look like New Jersey.
See, that's where the real story is.
In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.
Everyone's equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favorites.
YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!