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Old 10-04-2012, 03:44 PM   #41
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Thanks everyone! don't know why it really hit me last night. Guess I started to think that the holidays are approaching and wondered if I would be in a black hole of depression on Christmas eve. The holiday was already a little depressing as I realize that it will never be so magical as I once believed.

No one here hurt my feelings. Hell, I encouraged people to post whatever.

Thank you all!

And thanks for those who defended me from the insensetive posts, but I know BB well enough not to take any offense.


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Old 10-04-2012, 03:52 PM   #42
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I'm late to the party as usual, but I have confidence in you Cheezy. Just keep your head up and keep doing what you do. Time is the only thing that can heal losses like that, and you have that on your side. Although making it through that first holiday can be difficult, I'm sure an EPIC IPA brewed to perfection will help you through. Keep mashing my friend.


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Old 10-04-2012, 04:09 PM   #43
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We're with you cheezy. Vent as needed. Especially as the holidays approach.

In the meantime, I raise a pint with you.
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Old 10-04-2012, 04:13 PM   #44
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My brother, who was 16 years older than me, and was everything from my Best friend to a mentor, to in some ways even a father figure, died on Christmas Eve 17 years ago. It's still hard.

I'm the first one to admit that I pretty much hate Christmas....which for a Christian Minister, is not "normal."

It's not a day I get through easily. I really don't get "into" the Christmas Spirit until I get past that day. Some years I break down on that day, but most of them now I try to be so busy that, although it's there, a looming presence, and something I acknowledge, just get past. In a lot of ways, even though it's painful, it's poignant too.

It's going to suck. There's no if and or buts about it.

And it's going to suck nearly every year, because as opposed to other people's death dates, which we don't tend to remember over time, you're going to get smacked in the face with it every year. In fact you're going to be smacked in the face with it from July on when the first "Christmas in July" sales begins, and again at the end of summer when those ****ers start decorating all the stores for Christmas. It's a good thing they no longer sell weapons at most big box stores or there's been times I've been tempted grab a shotgun from sporting goods and take out a few blowup snowmen and aluminum Christmas Trees, when it's not even Halloween yet.

But it sucks because we love. That's one of the curses of being human, we love, and we lose, and we hurt. But I think it's more important to have folks we love in our lives than to go through our lives like robots, unfeeling.

The suckage won't go away, but it will ease with time. It will be rough for the next few years, but it will suck less as the pain of the loss lessens.

The thing for this year is to find things to distract you. If you have kids and family, then you have joy at the holidays, that's a good distraction, especially if you have to put on a "happy face" for kids.

But if you don't have that, like I don't then find other things. Make a brew day with friends. Volunteer at a soup kitchen....Be Santa at a Christmas party....or get so bleeding stumbling drunk that you pass out through the whole thing.....I've done it all.....

Basically do what you need to do....Feel what you need to feel. If you need to be angry, do so. Any response any feeling you have, except for harming yourself or others is the right response....Don't let anyone tell you different.

If I can help in any way as the day gets closer, let me know. I've spent many a Christmas Eve drunk in front of the computer, on chat with folks, since I'm single again, I'll probably be doing it this year.

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Old 10-04-2012, 04:23 PM   #45
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Sorry for your loss, Cheezy.
My original response got lost before posting, but Revvy has said it all so much better than I could.
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:20 PM   #46
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Losing a loved one is never easy. I had to put my young mother,(55 years old at the time) into a mental hospital on Christmas day back in 2006 for dementia. My dad was just ignoring the problem and hiding in his work and work shop. She never got better but did get out after a short stay. Sadly she passed the next October. Two years later my father died unexpectly. I am a firm believer that time does not heal such wounds. It only makes you numb to the pain. Take comfort in your family and friends. Live for what you want and try to move forward. Keep the memories alive. Both the good and bad. And never forget that we ALL are here for you.
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:28 PM   #47
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I am sorry for your loss. I haven't had to deal with losing a parent yet. I can't imagine the grief. Its in no way the same. but I lost my dog on Christmas Eve last year, the last thing she did was bit me when I shook her to see if she was still alive. I hope you didn't get bit. (I hope that small joke is okay). I really am sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:37 PM   #48
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Condolences Cheezy, my mother passed 2 years ago to brain cancer, 73yr. I wasn't allowed to go see her due to my own health but I still have memories of when she was strong before the cancer ate her up.
My spirit is with you.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:47 AM   #49
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My condolences. I find this comforting.


http://

Does not seem to work directly.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:56 PM   #50
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You hanging in there ok buddy?


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