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Old 09-14-2012, 08:32 PM   #311
WesleyS
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I prefer my turtles freshly squeezed over ice with a splash of crocodile.

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:55 PM   #312
brewingmeister
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaehnig
What about using a tortoise as an alternative to a turtle? Do they compare well?
Turtles go in a Lager and Tortoises go in an Ale. Come on people get it together.
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:55 PM   #313
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*facepalm* Are we seriously debating this again? James Bond ruined it for everybody. The proper way to drink is squeezed salamanders with a splash of alligator. And over ice? Jesus have mercy.

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:57 PM   #314
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Sea Turtles go in Barleywine
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Old 09-14-2012, 09:13 PM   #315
WesleyS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Subsailor
Sea Turtles go in Barleywine
Depends on your IBUs. If its under 80 you use jellyfish. Or is it jelly bellys? Oh no, now I'm confused!

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 09:15 PM   #316
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WesleyS

Depends on your IBUs. If its under 80 you use jellyfish. Or is it jelly bellys? Oh no, now I'm confused!
Jelly beans
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Old 09-14-2012, 09:40 PM   #317
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Jellyfish are added to the secondary, but only if you have cats or have steeped your crocodiles for 24.32 days at 115.35 degrees.

And that is Nile Crocodiles not Australian salties.

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 10:18 PM   #318
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Old 09-14-2012, 10:33 PM   #319
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Subsailor View Post
Sea Turtles go in Barleywine
Finally, an expert in marine mammals chimes in.

Sir, I am representing a brewerey that wishes at this time to remain anonymous. My client is currently working on a gluten free beer alternative in collaboration with the the Monterrey Aquarium, The California Dept. of Energy, and Henderson's Funeral Homes.

Our product is based mainly on sustainable and responsibly harvested seaweeds and algaes such as Kelp, caulerpa and cultured chaetomorpha (With very minimum genetic modification). We are still in trials with a number of terroir adjuncts.

Our conversion process is patently different than what you may be used to as a brewer. Leveraging Henderson's Funeral Home's expertise in automated pyrolysis technology, we have been able to share the burden of energy input cost between both of our operations. It's a win-win for everyone, and it's environmentally responsible too.
The fermentation process is quite unique in it's own right. It's carried out by marsh flies which have been infected by our proprietary strain of artificial yeast nano-bots. Our initial test batches look very promising.

We've noted a very similar flavor profile to popular american premium lagers, however; we feel the added saltiness makes our product unique in the marketplace.
In keeping with our core philosophy of "Every Day Different" the flavor of our beer will never be the same twice.
For centuries, brewers have blindly been following the age old traditions. They keep brewing the same predictable beer day in and day out. Imagine being able to repeat the enjoyment of the first time you tasted the best beer you ever had...again and again. Now you can.

Mr. Subsailor sir, We are a high growth potential organization and are currently seeking investors and talented professionals like yourself. If you are the kind of person that likes to get their feet dirty, and their hands wet, we'd like to invite you to discuss a very bright future.

PS: Any similarity in the content of this correspondence to the Monsanto Co., express or implied, is strictly coincidental. B]COMPANY NAME WITH HELD PENDING SIGNED NON DISCLOSURE WAIVER[/B]
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Old 09-14-2012, 10:41 PM   #320
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I dare say that the proper algorithm to obtain the right sized novel depends on whether you can physically insert your navel into another mans chin wisker whiskey.
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