Home Brew Forums > Home Brewing Community > General Chit Chat > Need Parenting/Marriage Advice
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-18-2012, 04:52 PM   #1
medusa1066
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Morgantown, WV
Posts: 205
Liked 3 Times on 3 Posts

Default Need Parenting/Marriage Advice

My wife (stay at home) and I have a 2.5 year old boy. He has always been attached to me. It has become more apparent now that it is warmer outside and have been spending WAY too much time prepping to paint my house as well as other chores he can't be around me for. He cries a lot for me.

He started a pretty high fever last night so he was not happy about me leaving for work today. I planned on going to my first homebrew competition an hour away on Saturday. I also agreed to take a friend's entry up AFTER he found out I was going. I very rarely take any solo time for myself (other than brewing and dangerous chores). My wife is upset that I still want to go to the competition because he will be probably be a mess.

Try not to be biased. Should I stay or should I go?


medusa1066 is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:05 PM   #2
jmendez29
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
jmendez29's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Holland, Michigan
Posts: 1,226
Liked 150 Times on 95 Posts
Likes Given: 49

Default

In my honest opinion, I think you need to stay home. Your son obviously needs you, and though your wife should be able to handle the situation, you really should be there for him because he's sick. In the longer term, your wife needs to figure out how to satiate him so you can get things done, whether that be projects or "me" time. As for your friend, you promised this only when he found out you were going, not because you invited it. If it's that important, then he needs to do it on his own. Kids gotta come first.

But that's my opinion. Your results may vary.


__________________
Does that make me an ***hole?

No, that's not what makes you an ***hole.
jmendez29 is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:06 PM   #3
BrewChem
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 262
Liked 84 Times on 38 Posts

Default

Don't mean to be harsh but ... what's more important to you.... your familiy or your beer..?

Does your wife get time for herself...?

There were alot of things I passed up while my kids were growing up but looking back, I don't regret one bit of it. Now that I have one young'un off in college and the other a HS senior who isn't around much, I have plenty of time for myself and SWIMBO and I are are enjoying being a couple again.
BrewChem is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:07 PM   #4
Bobby_M
Vendor and Brewer
HBT_SPONSOR.png
Vendor Ads 
Feedback Score: 4 reviews
 
Bobby_M's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Whitehouse Station, NJ
Posts: 22,824
Liked 1340 Times on 878 Posts
Likes Given: 35

Default

This is always a tough situation. Once in a while you have to stop everything and spend a solid hour with the kid, no distractions, no interruptions. On the same token, you have to drop everything to do exactly what YOU feel like doing once in a while too. It's very simple for a SAHM to get pissed because they feel like they are 100% focused on the kid 24/7. I'd say go to the comp and reciprocate by setting aside time with the kid, take him out of the house for a few hours so your wife can catch up on 50 Shades of Grey.
__________________
Welcome to BrewHardware.com. I love you.
New 100% Stainless Steel Heating Elements are IN! ULWD 5500w Ripple, 2000w, 1500w, etc
Chugger Pumps, Pump Kits, Camlocks, Sightglasses, Clear USA made Silicone Tubing, RIMS, Electric Install Parts, etc.
Bobby_M is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:16 PM   #5
medusa1066
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Morgantown, WV
Posts: 205
Liked 3 Times on 3 Posts

Default

I appreciate the solid advice!!! She does get time to herself, she has gone to two concerts in the past month. And I do spend time with him, esp. on rainy days, weekend mornings and I always do bath time and bed. I am obviously torn. Part of me feels like we coddle him too much, but he is ONLY 2 1/2. thanks again!
medusa1066 is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:20 PM   #6
progmac
Feedback Score: 1 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cincy, OH
Posts: 1,969
Liked 277 Times on 221 Posts
Likes Given: 344

Default

my kid is that age. it is hard. you can't really expect perfect fairness and division of responsibility between partners right now -- daily life is so taxing, with your kid needing attention literally every waking hour, that parents cope differently and need different things at different times. So, I guess I'm saying, stay home and do your best with the fam.
progmac is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:26 PM   #7
TyTanium
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,949
Liked 551 Times on 388 Posts
Likes Given: 418

Default

Take the kid with you to the competition?

Otherwise, if you're not sure, err on the side of the wife/kid. The returns are far greater.
TyTanium is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:32 PM   #8
IXVolt
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
IXVolt's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,736
Liked 79 Times on 54 Posts
Likes Given: 77

Default

I have kids at that age too, and I would stay home if taking the family with you isn't an option.

Having a happy wife is worth more than a thousands first place prizes.

Sooner or later you'll miss being the favorite.
IXVolt is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:38 PM   #9
GilaMinumBeer
HBT_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
GilaMinumBeer's Avatar
Recipes 
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 52,972
Liked 6059 Times on 5223 Posts
Likes Given: 81

Default

I gave up brewclub because it wasn't conducive to a life with kids.

I take my me time at night while they sleep.

However, I also had to teach my 2 sons (5 and 3) that there is a time for work and a time for play. The sooner the work is done the more time there is for play.
GilaMinumBeer is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2012, 05:41 PM   #10
Goofynewfie
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Recipes 
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 1,592
Liked 300 Times on 201 Posts
Likes Given: 27

Default

My kids are a little older but I would say if hes not feeling any better tomorrow than stay home. I know this is tough to pass up but in the long term you will be glad you did. This is the best age IMO because their personality is really starting to break out and when older you will miss this age so much


__________________
You cant always be young but you can always be immature
Goofynewfie is offline
 
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Marriage Advice Nic0 General Chit Chat 30 01-22-2011 08:32 PM
10 gallon batches and marriage Yooper General Chit Chat 22 06-11-2010 01:16 AM
Job advice Skins_Brew General Chit Chat 6 08-25-2008 11:17 AM
Need some advice... skeeordye11 General Chit Chat 4 09-24-2007 02:19 PM
Parenting TxBrew General Chit Chat 23 02-02-2007 09:40 PM


Forum Jump

Newest Threads

LATEST SPONSOR DEALS