Sounds to me as if something terribly wrong could be lurking in that carboy. What you will need to do is bottle and send to my house for "lab testing" ;-).
See, that's where the real story is.
In the competition for the attention of the space aliens.
Everyone's equal in the eyes of God, but the space aliens, you've got to figure they would play favorites.
YES, WE HAVE TRIED OTHER YEASTS! USE BREAD YEAST FOR JAOM!