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Old 10-21-2005, 01:33 AM   #1
sudsmonkey
 
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Life is so peaceful here on the farm. I get up when the rooster crows and start coffee for me and the Mrs. This morning, a neighbor called just about dawn and told me two of my horses were in her yard. They'd eaten a bag of horsefeed, a half bag of chicken feed, and a bale of hay between them. Mrs. Monkey and I went over to get them. These are our older horses, the ones that you don't have to catch. This morning, they decided to be somebody else. I had the pleasure of jogging two miles before dawn today because these two didn't want to go home. Went through woods and fields. Managed to pass the house and wake the Kids up. They weren't much help. Horses finally went home on their own. I managed to get to work only 10 minutes late. Horses didn't die today from eating too much fed. I owe the neighbor $15 for the feed. Maybe we'll try it again tomorrow. I need the exercise.

 
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Old 10-21-2005, 01:41 AM   #2
El Pistolero
 
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Same thing happened to me the other morning. Only it wasn't horses, it was a poodle. And it wasn't two miles, just across two yards. And I don't think he stole any horse or chicken feed...maybe some cat feed tho. Other than that it was just the same...tiring isn't it?
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Old 10-21-2005, 01:44 AM   #3
Sir Sudster
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sudsmonkey
Life is so peaceful here on the farm. I get up when the rooster crows and start coffee for me and the Mrs. This morning, a neighbor called just about dawn and told me two of my horses were in her yard. They'd eaten a bag of horsefeed, a half bag of chicken feed, and a bale of hay between them. Mrs. Monkey and I went over to get them. These are our older horses, the ones that you don't have to catch. This morning, they decided to be somebody else. I had the pleasure of jogging two miles before dawn today because these two didn't want to go home. Went through woods and fields. Managed to pass the house and wake the Kids up. They weren't much help. Horses finally went home on their own. I managed to get to work only 10 minutes late. Horses didn't die today from eating too much fed. I owe the neighbor $15 for the feed. Maybe we'll try it again tomorrow. I need the exercise.
$15 plus tax

 
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Old 10-21-2005, 01:48 AM   #4
sudsmonkey
 
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Can't forget that tax ! P. , A poodle counts as livestock. When the knucklehead ( Nice, non-profane description, huh?) won't come when you call him, you still deal with the frustration of it. Did you get to jog ?
Oh, yeah; Poodles are good eatin', I hear. Did that with some goats we had that were getting out. Set a very good example for the others!

 
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Old 10-21-2005, 01:54 AM   #5
El Pistolero
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sudsmonkey
Did you get to jog ?
Yep got to jog, and got to do a broad jump across the fence that Rita knocked down (yes dear I know it's been three weeks...I'm getting to it).

Quote:
Originally Posted by sudsmonkey
Oh, yeah; Poodles are good eatin', I hear. Did that with some goats we had that were getting out. Set a very good example for the others!
We've only got one poodle, which limits somewhat the effectiveness of that particular technique.
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Old 10-21-2005, 01:58 AM   #6
sudsmonkey
 
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Like the story of the pig with the wooden leg: You don't eat a poodle like that all at once.
Or: Richard Pryor's Miss Rudolph, who wore a monkey foot around her neck and had a three legged monkey who didn't give her no sh*t.
One example is all it takes for some animals. How do you like your horse cooked ?


 
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Old 10-21-2005, 02:02 AM   #7
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yeah.. just take the ear. the dog will get the point.

-walker
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Old 10-21-2005, 02:03 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sudsmonkey
Can't forget that tax ! P. , A poodle counts as livestock. When the knucklehead ( Nice, non-profane description, huh?) won't come when you call him, you still deal with the frustration of it. Did you get to jog ?
Oh, yeah; Poodles are good eatin', I hear. Did that with some goats we had that were getting out. Set a very good example for the others!
My neice has got a farm in Maine. Lots of live stock. One day a goose pecked her in the ars and she turned around and told it , the next time it did that she would ring its neck and cook it. Well, for some reason this goose was hard of hearing and decided to get him another piece of her back side. She turned around on the spot and ringed its neck. Next thing you know she's in the house plukin the someb*tch. You can only take so much.

 
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Old 10-21-2005, 02:06 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sudster
My neice has got a farm in Maine. Lots of live stock. One day a goose pecked her in the ars and she turned around and told it , the next time it did that she would ring its neck and cook it. Well, for some reason this goose was hard of hearing and decided to get him another piece of her back side. She turned around on the spot and ringed its neck. Next thing you know she's in the house plukin the someb*tch. You can only take so much.
Your neice is brave...a charging goose for some reason scares the pee right out of me.
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Old 10-21-2005, 02:08 AM   #10
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You and Me both. She'd had enough and the goose was crawdadin when she went after it. LMOF!

 
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