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Old 01-01-2012, 07:42 PM   #1
Diver165
 
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I woke up with a slight hangover this morning. We just had the typical New Years Eve get together. Nothing major, just good food and friends. So not wanting to fool with the kitchen this morning the wife and I decided to go out for breakfast. The breath of fresh morning air seemed to help the hangover. After a nice breakfast at Cracker Barrel and a walk we decided to come home and get started on the kitchen. It really wasn't as bad as we had thought (paper plates and red solo cups make clean up it easy). I started to loading the dishwasher with help from my dog Jeep. My 80lbs Shepard/Lab mix loves to help me load the dishwasher. He really he likes to prewash them with his tongue. Usually he steals a few licks before I shoo him away. But this time he buried his head deep in the dishes and was on a mission. After the New Years buffet of chicken wings, various finger foods and what not he wasn't going to stop. And that's when bad luck rears its ugly head. It seems his collar got hooked on the bottom dish basket somehow and well....he's an 80lb SISSY DOG!!!! His orgasmic licking frenzy quickly turns into a freakout melt down. Next thing I know he's yelping like he's been shot...swinging the bottom dish basket around the kitchen. Dishes, pans, knives, forks ... flying EVERYWHERE. He runs into the dining/living room area and hooks the f'n Christmas tree dragging it and all the ornaments (thank god for non breakable ornaments) through the living room. So now he's towing a dishbasket and a christmas tree behind him as he runs for his life. About the time he jumps on the couch the poor guys anal glands let loose. He hops down (everthing in tow) and heads for his doggy door. But he can't get out because he's now hooked to an end table, christmas tree, and the dishwasher basket...

At one point during his melt down he was standing on the dishwasher door swinging the dishbaskset over his head. I was dodging knives forks and pans. Thank goodness no glassware was involved so nobody was hurt.

I literally had to jump over the end table and Christmas tree and land on his back to corral him so I could get him unhooked. Then I shoved him into his crate to calm him down. He really is a good dog and he is so good natured. He just got freaked out. I have 2 twin mini pins also and never had to worry about such things. Jeep is my first big dog. LOL

So now my couch smells like dogs ass and house looks like a tornado went through. But nobody was hurt including Jeep. I'll probably have to burn the couch because that seemed to catch most of the ass juice. SWMBO ran her Bissle carpet cleaner thing on the carpet and it seemed to get a lot of it up. But I think we're gonna have to call for the professionals though. Stanley steamer is gonna hate me...

 
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Old 01-01-2012, 07:49 PM   #2
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Holy crap. That must have been the longest 45 seconds of your life.

Poor Jeep.

How's that hangover?
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Old 01-01-2012, 07:57 PM   #3
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The whole thing probably took 20 seconds. It was like everything was in slow motion.

 
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Old 01-01-2012, 08:40 PM   #4
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Great story. That poor dog. Betcha he thinks twice about licking from the dishwasher again...

Your couch will be fine, in time...stains are one thing, but smells go away eventually (I have a black lab and have experienced similar freakouts). Spray with Febreeze or some odor eliminator when you think of it and before long you won't even be able to smell it.

 
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Old 01-01-2012, 09:09 PM   #5
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Old 01-01-2012, 10:10 PM   #6
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Diver, that is the best story I've heard in a long time. It may be a pain in the ass insofar so clean up, but the tale alone is soooooooo worth it. Thanks for sharing! Hope you got some pics of the destruction for posterity...
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Old 01-01-2012, 10:30 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bedlam View Post
Diver, that is the best story I've heard in a long time. It may be a pain in the ass insofar so clean up, but the tale alone is soooooooo worth it. Thanks for sharing! Hope you got some pics of the destruction for posterity...
SWMBO gave me the look of death when I broke out the camera! LOL

Actually, other than a few scratches on the wall and a few mangled ornaments it wasn't as bad as it looked. After I gathered up the parts of the Christmas tree from the living room, kitchen, family room, and hallway; we had everything cleaned up in 3 or 4hrs. I'll have to pound out the dishwasher rack. It's a bit skewed.

The couch will be SWMBO's project. It's in the garage. She thinks she can save it. I've still got an itchy lighter finger. This is the couch burning capitol of the world ya know (It's not limited to Morgantown).

 
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Old 01-01-2012, 10:37 PM   #8
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I'm still laughing. That's halirious! And not jus cause it happened to you. We have a German shorthair pointer and another boxer/bulldog. We are in attrition with furniture. Hahaha - f-in torch it.
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Old 01-03-2012, 01:19 PM   #9
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That was an awesome tale!

I'm usually not one to throw things away, but after seeing a couch torched once, I'm all for it! Good times.

 
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