Ok, on a lark because I had extra crap honey on hand I made the pineapple JAOM varient and then read up on Cyser. I realized that I would more or less have to break every single rule in the book if I wanted to actually try my hand at this, but I figured that doing so might hurt the hearts of some (my apologies there)
but would cost me a grand total of $5 at the time. Further compounding the heart rending aspect is I didnt get the airlock on it until 11pm, and by then I was in no mood to take a reading. I will do one tonight, which I think will give me a vague idea of OG. Anyways here goes. Again I want to stress that I have absolutely no doubt that this will fall flat on its face, and could very well require a team of licensed professionals to discard.
1 gallon carboy, sterile
1 gallon of Motts Apple Juice
3 pounds of crapola storebrand mystery honey
25 raisins for yeast food if needed
1 teaspoon Di-go bread yeast. You know its quality because the text is all in Croatian.
Here is where I got creative. SWMBO kindly sewed a bag out of cheesecloth for my spices. The bag is currently at the bottom of the carboy, weighed down by cheap honey, apple juice, and the ill-feelings of better brewers everywhere.
1 cinnamon stick
1 tiny star anise pod
1 allspice berry
2 cardommom pods
1 fragment of a nutmeg seed (a chunk taken off an eighth of a seed)
I had the beloved who must be obeyed sew the final side onto the bag, and then wacked the bejoobus out of it with something heavy. Into the carboy it went. After corking, shaking like a lunatic and cleaning off the side of the carboy I pitched my yeast. Slapped on my airlock and went to bed. This morning, no MEA and the airlock is abubbling.
If this doesnt work, who will want to drink it anyway?