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Old 10-05-2005, 11:53 PM   #21
sudsmonkey
 
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May 2005
Deepest, darkest Eastern NC
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That's too bad. I really liked the one with the gorilla !

 
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Old 10-06-2005, 03:53 AM   #22
Walker
I use secondaries. :p
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Cary, NC
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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. The man orders a pint and his monkey sits quietly on the stool beside him, eating pretzels out of a bowl.

The bartender complains about the beast, but the man promises to pay for anything the monkey eats. No sooner does the man say this when the monkey leaps onto the billiard table next to the bar and swallows the 8 ball.

The bartender is furious, but the man pays him enough to buy a whole new set of billiard balls, so the bartender is satisfied.

When the man finishes his pint, he and the monkey leave the bar.

A couple weeks later the man comes back into the bar with the monkey and orders a pint. The monkey sits on the stool beside him and grabs a bowl of peanuts off the bar.

The monkey stands up and shoves a peanut straight up his A$$. The bartender stares with shocked look as the monkey then pulls the peanut back out of his A$$ and EATS IT!

"That's disgusting!" shouts the bartender. "Why the hell did he do that?!"

Tha man sips his beer and replies, "Ever since he ate that 8-ball, he measures everthing now before he swallows it."

-walker
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Old 10-07-2005, 01:05 AM   #23
ScottT
 
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Aug 2005
Hurst, Tx
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A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.

The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.

A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.

The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.

The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
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Primary: Empty

Secondary #2: Empty

Bottle Conditioning: Oatmeal Stout

Drinking from Keg: Ordinary Bitter, Kolsch

Drinking bottled: Brown Autumn Wee Heavy
Hefe Weizen
Peaches and Cream Weizen


"This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption... Beer!"
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Old 10-07-2005, 01:09 AM   #24
SwAMi75
 
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Mar 2005
Midwest City, OK
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May you go marching in three-measure time
Dressed up as asses, drunk to the nines
Swing from the rafters, shouting those songs
Gone unsung for far too long


 
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Old 10-07-2005, 03:40 AM   #25
Dude
Will work for beer
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Jan 2005
Knob Noster, Missouri
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam75

OMFG.....LMAO!!!!!!
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