OK this is a long read but bear with me.
Three deer hunters got together every year on opening week to camp and hunt. Except for ole Charlie of course. He just went to get away from the wife and stay
Well last year was just like any other and they all traveled to the dear lease on Friday evening for the Saturday opener. They went about setting up camp and before they even got the fire going one of them asks, "Where's Charlie?"
"Check the tent replied the other." Sure enough Charlie is passed out cold in the tent, empty burbon bottle next to his side.
O'dark thirty Saturday morning all three are headed out including Charlie. One of them says, "Hey first one of you sees a nice fat doe, shoot her and we'll have camp meat for the week. Once we hear the shot, everyone will know we've got the meat." All agreed and headed out their seperate ways.
About 10:00 in the morning, the other two made it back to the camp both having heard the shot earlier that morning. Sure enough, there's doe layed out in camp, not field dressed and laying out in the sun but Charlie's not to be found. "Check the tent!" one of them said. Sure enough, Charlie's passed out another empty burbon bottle by his side.
On of the other two goes to complaining, "I'm sick and tired of this, he never does any work, he just stay's drunk......." on and on with his rant. The third fellow just smiles and says, "Let's fix him up good!"
So these two sober fellows evicerate (gut) this deer and take the entrals into the tent and stuff them down the pack of Charlie's pants while he's sleeping.
Round about 2:00 pm, they're sitting around the fire snickering about what they'd done when the here some stiring in the tent. Then they here a holler "Oh my God!" then a crash and some more stiring. By this time the two outside can hardly contain themselves
Charlie's in the tent for quite a while longer when he sticks his head out the flap.
White as a sheet, sweat pouring off his forehead, he emerges, hands shaking uncontrollably saying, "Lordy, Lordy, Lordy." The others asked holding back their smiles
"Charlie, you alright? You don't look so good."
Charlie replies walking toward them rather awkardly, "Well Fellas, I'll tell ya, While I was asleep, my hemroids came down on me but by the grace of God and a forked stick, I got them back up.