"You should put more alcohol in it."
"At least it exploded in your room..."
"Are you done with these bottles?"
"I don't care how much it costs, so long as it doesn't take up anymore space."
"5 gallons?! Are you going to give it away to your friends?!" <--on cider day
"Did you ask your friends if they want any?!" <--cider fermenting
"Did any of them want it? I don't think you can drink all of that." <--kegging day
"We can make them some cider later, this one is for us." <--on tap
"Something is wrong with your thing...only foam comes out." <--shortly after