The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Scary, just scary ...

Proving once again that I shouldn’t be allowed out of the house without competent adult supervision...

Drove my 90 year old mother in law to the train station. Got there plenty early so she wouldn’t worry. Helped her onto the train, got her suitcase in the overhead, kissed her goodbye and walked to the door. Took me less than a minute. The door is locked and I couldn’t figure out which buttons unlocked it, god knows I tried. Ten seconds after I started furiously pounding on the buttons and shouting, the freakin’ train starts rolling.

Providence is nice. I wonder when the next train to Boston comes through?

Epic. Hope you didn’t park in the tow zone.

How was the gyro?

"And that, your honor, is why those fine officers arrested me for solicitation; I was only giving those handjobs to earn bus fare to get back home."

I'll be honest, when I heard you were stuck on a train I figured we'd have to come down with twenty pounds of butter and a crowbar to get you out.

And true friend is that you are, you were willing to do that! Isn’t that nice!

So classic.

And they let you attend to people’s medical needs.... for real....?

Sure they do! Why not? One way or the other, everyone eventually stops bleeding

So, are you going to drive MIL home next time?

Cape Brewing said:

So classic.

And they let you attend to people’s medical needs.... for real....?

Click to expand...

Let’s go with that for a minute. Let’s go back in time. Let’s go back to say............ Yesterday.

Do you remember yesterday? I stopped by The Bog and you were brewing. And in between threatening to commit patricide because the ill begotten fruit of your loins were doing a pretty good Angry Monkey rant in the Brew house you stopped shoveling out the mash tun and climbed up on the brewery. You walked 50 feet away, climbed up a flight of stairs then diddled around in the mash tun with your shovel. THEN, satisfied with what you did you put the shovel over the rail of the walkway onto the floor so you could retrieve it in a moment and resume making the mindless task you were doing. Only the shovel skidded across the floor and you had to climb down the stairs, walk back the 50 feet, and start over.

Just a total pain in the ass, pissed you off, gave me s good laugh and even had the boys laughing st you, Mr Pro Brewer.

I’m like that when I manage your erectile dysfunction. Not a big deal. No one knows. Know one cares. Ain’t going to make a difference anyways. That which is dead can not die.

Dilly. Dilly

Which would just be a hilllllllarious story.... except that’s not what actually happened there Captain Hook.

And... slice it anyway you want. I dropped a mash rake... you locked yourself onto a freakin train by accident and ended up in another state.

I prefer to think of it as I got a free ride on the Acela train.

Dilly. Dilly.

I prefer to think of it as you’re a dumbazz

Captain Hook? Nice. Making fun of dear departed Dad’s gaff.

Fake news

No... I was making fun of you using it to move stuff around in the bed of your truck.

That said... I guess it is understandable when the tailgate, while open, hits you in the nipples.

“Ahhhh can’t reeeeeach!! Ahhh got these little legs!!!”

Seriously? Are you really making fun of me having difficulty reaching the front of the bed of my Tundra?

“It’s so big and I’m so small!”

Aside from that being Yeager’s fav pick up line down at the Ramrod, you’ve got a lot of gall going there, Mr “I’ve Got a Tiny Dick So I Drive a Hummer to Overcompensate.”

Maybe if you used the right tool for the job, like I did, you could drive a Prius, like Hoppy. And Yeager.

Yes. I am making fun of you having difficulty reaching... anything... in the bed of your truck. The fact that you have to use a stick with a hook on it is freakin’ hilarious.

Maybe he could just borrow your mash rake since you keep dropping it.

Hey, some of us vertically challenged folks get creative... It's a sign of intelligence to use tools.

Seems legit.



Hella smart crow, anyway

Mmmmmmmmm. Tree worms for dinner. Pair that with a delicious Bog Inn brew and you’ve really got something.

Will you ******** stop putting pictures of me online?

Nope.

It’s official... “craft brewers” are fckued.

They’re finally smartening up....


http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-biz-modist-bud-light-dilly-dilly-20171204-story.html

Cape Brewing said:

It’s official... “craft brewers” are fckued.

They’re finally smartening up....


http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-biz-modist-bud-light-dilly-dilly-20171204-story.html

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Modist knowingly infringed on a trademark....

Would you tolerate that if someone did that to you?

F-ck!! So in the end Bud gave them two tickets to a Patriots game? That's a pretty sweet deal. Now everyone's going to do it.

Dateline Norton Massachusetts
December 4, 2017

Bog Iron Brewery announced a new Brew today, “Not Dilly Dilly” is the Bog’s own spin in aDouble IPA.

Customers in their tap room universally ask where they got the recipe.

AZ_IPA said:

Modist knowingly infringed on a trademark....

Would you tolerate that if someone did that to you?

Click to expand...

???

No.

I don’t get your point.

Did you even read the article?

Yes.

And?

I was giving AB credit for doing it in a cool way ya fuggin dolt.

I'm overseas.

WTF is this Dilly Dilly? I'm seeing it everywhere. Homebrew forums. Aviation forums. Gun forums. Motorcycle Forums.

Due to the most glorious programming provided by AFN, we don't get much pop culture because everything is edited. Except MSNBC and the Today Show.

Do you get Charlie Rose?

Does anyone?

@Master

They filmed a commercial at The Bog. Cape is the King, Matt is the Queen, Yeager is the Paul Simon-looking goober at the end of the table and Hoppy is the ‘beer snob’ who steps on his dick.

Ah. AFN changes all commercials to hokey ass Public Service Announcements.

In semi related news, a Coastie friend is TAD on Cape Cod. Any brewpubs he should check out?

He's been introduced to good US beer, and we've had a lot of good Polish beer he brings back. (Born in Poland, emigrated to US as a teenager)

No ****, I just looked on facebook and he was at The Bog in Pocasset last night.

Master said:

Ah. AFN changes all commercials to hokey ass Public Service Announcements.

In semi related news, a Coastie friend is TAD on Cape Cod. Any brewpubs he should check out?

He's been introduced to good US beer, and we've had a lot of good Polish beer he brings back. (Born in Poland, emigrated to US as a teenager)

Click to expand...

Although a little fuzzy I seem to remember Hog Island in Orleans was good. They seem to be expanding quickly tho. I'm seeing it in cans in my area west of Boston. I'm always leary on how breweries handle expansion. However, I do remember several of their ales were good at the brewery.

paulthenurse said:

@Master

They filmed a commercial at The Bog. Cape is the King, Matt is the Queen, Yeager is the Paul Simon-looking goober at the end of the table and Hoppy is the ‘beer snob’ who steps on his dick.

Click to expand...

Obsess much?