Reliance Aqua-tainer 7 gallon
They have these at Walmart for 10 bucks. It's #2 plastic, BPA free.
For a primary? Drill out a spot up top for an airlock, Has a spigot, and a regular cap.
Nightman Pale Ale (Always Sunny ref)
Hans Guck-in-die-Luft Apfelwein (3 Gal)
Gator Piss Ale
In Your Pocket Hefe-Weizen