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Old 01-23-2007, 03:54 AM   #1
EvilTOJ's Avatar
Dec 2005
Portland, OR, Oregon
Posts: 6,401
Liked 50 Times on 35 Posts

That's what it says on the side of the Arrogant Bastard bottle, and they're probably right about this clone. I did everything went wrong that is probably possible! This was no doubt one of my worst brew days ever! For background I got a turkey fryer with a 7.5 gallon pot for Christmas. Until I get a cooler, I partial mash in my 5 gal stockpot, then sparge through a grainbag and kitchen strainer. Hey, it works fine alright? alright. Here's my partial mash recipe:

Grains: 2 lbs Pale Malt
.5 lb Special-B
.5 lb Biscuit
.5 lb Aromatic
.5 lb CaraMunich

Malt Extract: 8 lbs LME

Yeast: pacman

Hops: 1 oz Chinook 60 min
1.25 oz Chinook 45 min
1.5 oz Chinook 2 min

It all started off with me not able to find my grain bags anywhere. G)^@#@ OK fine I'll just dump the grain in the pot at 150şish for an hour. I start to set up my turkey fryer, and whaddya know? The grain bags! That smell odd. Kinda moldy, kinda soapy. I take em out, wash out the turkey fryer, and soak the bags in hot, hot water. I rinse and rinse em until they smell fresh and clean. I spoon the grains into the bag for the hot wet sparging action! Three gallons of sparge water into the boiler! Hmmm... that looks kinda low. Oh yea! I forgot the original 2 gallons of mash water. I pour that in, then start the boil. Lucky for me, the hop schedule went off without a hitch. Now, why do the bubbles look all rainbowed colored? And why does the steam smell like rotting fabric softener? Aw crap! When I ran the grainbags through the washer the dryer had fabric softener in it! )^$@$#@!!

Bah too late now! Forge on ahead! Finally, I get the boil done, use the remaining snow and ice from our storm last week to cool off the boil pot, pitch my yeast. Ahhh, finally done! Time to start the cleanup! Let's clean up this pot, the racking cane, strainer, full malt bucket.....wait......why is this malt bucket still full? O_o Aw [email protected]@f@#knin song of a beech!


So I boil half a gallon of water and 8 lb LME to water it up for 10 minutes, put it outside in a snowbank to cool it, and add just over half of it to the 6 gallon primary. The rest goes off into the now-empty malt bucket. I have a blowoff tube, and I'm going to add the rest of the wort in the secondary (for this batch, it's going to be the 6 gal bottling bucket) for a true secondary fermentation. Then when that stops, back to the 6 gallon primary unless I have massive trub losses.

The sad part is, this isn't the first batch I've made in this manner (minus the comedy of errors). On the plus side, my IBUs are through the roof at 138!

I'm consoling myself with a stout made the same way and it's awesome. Just thought I'd share.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

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Old 01-23-2007, 04:37 AM   #2
Jan 2007
Posts: 160

Holy Smokes! Reminds me of an old hunting term, " You can't always knock 'em dead"

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Old 01-23-2007, 03:48 PM   #3
david_42's Avatar
Oct 2005
Oak Grove, Oregon, USA
Posts: 25,595
Liked 153 Times on 144 Posts

Rainbow-colored Arrogant Bastard! SNORT! They'll love it in the Castro.
Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"

"I would like to die on Mars, just not on impact." Elon Musk

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