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Old 08-27-2010, 01:06 PM   #1
COLObrewer
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Jan 2009
Pea Green, Colorado
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I don't know why everyone has to go around knocking my yeast friends. They have done a fine job for me, in the few years I have been brewing with them the only problems I have had, have been actually MY problem and not theirs.


I have been ignorant with my yeast friends;

When I pitch less than half of the recommended amount of friends in a beer with a ton of unfermentables and they don't attenuate well, I call them bad names and try to manipulate them into being more attenuative.

When they DONíT attenuate further and they go to sleep and I procrastinate long enough that it allows their cousins Brett, Lacto and Pedio to take over, it still doesnít matter. They are a little hungrier and usually uglier than cousin Sac and I feed them different food but they still get the job done and so far in my experience, they do an excellent job, probably because they are slower and force me to wait for them to finish. As a result their work is usually more elegant and complex than cousin sacís work.

When I do pitch a bunch of my healthy friends in a wheat beer and they start partying out the top of the vessel shooting each other and their airlock all over the place I curse about having to clean up their mess and then I will have to let them blow off and let the party go outside.


I have been impatient with my yeast friends;

Sometimes my friends sleep a long time, like an entire week, when they don't wake up soon enough or adhere to my schedule sometimes I go and shake them furiously, they have always awoke and performed their chores diligently, in spite of me and my disturbances.

When my yeast friends arenít at the right temperature (Some like it hot, like Saison my French farmhouse friend. And some like it cold, like lager my friend with German descents) They start smelling and tasting bad or different so sometimes I have to adjust the temperature and let them clean up a little, they seem to be fine after that, it messes with my schedule but it has to be done.

Sometimes I try to force my friends to work faster and I bottle their beer before they are finished, when they explode the beer out of the bottle sending flying shards of glass all over the place I curse them and canít believe they would do that to me, but it was not their fault, I was impatient with them.

There are probably a lot more times that my friends donít do exactly what I want and there will probably be a lot more. I have come to realize that my friends are not like me and they have their own life, I canít FORCE them to be faster or go further or act this way or that. All I can do is ask and be patient and give them what they need, in time I hope I can get them to do what I want.

Now, my other friend, Malt that is a whole nother story.

Keep on yeasting my friends.
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Old 08-27-2010, 01:59 PM   #2
tdoft
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Jul 2009
Windsor Colorado
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Word.

 
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Old 08-27-2010, 05:54 PM   #3
wildwest450
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Dec 2007
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Are you a dumb ass? My beer isn't perfect, it's all Notties fault.

 
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Old 08-27-2010, 05:57 PM   #4
COLObrewer
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Jan 2009
Pea Green, Colorado
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Poor Notty, my friends redheaded step child. He's been takin a beatin lately, I have no problems with him though.
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Old 08-27-2010, 06:12 PM   #5
soundsandsuds
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Aug 2010
Vancouver, BC, Canada
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It's not Notty's fault, it's Danstar's. They haven't been treating him right, either.

 
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Old 08-27-2010, 07:55 PM   #6
Blackgaurd_Brewing
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Feb 2010
lakewood, Co
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Its so true... what a perspective.

 
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:04 PM   #7
Rover
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Feb 2010
Myrtle Beach
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Sounds like not everyone has had a bad packet.

 
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:18 PM   #8
Dauntless
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Aug 2009
Quebec city
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A very interesting read. I think I've insulted my yeast in all those ways you mentioned.

Malt is also another abused guest to our carboys.
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:47 PM   #9
dwarven_stout
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Apr 2009
Boise, ID
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Thanks for this.

You should also probably add "sometimes I leave my yeasty friends in my mailbox all day, and then they take forever to get back to work."
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Old 08-28-2010, 10:52 AM   #10
robertbartsch
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Jul 2010
usa
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performance counts... not much else matters...

 
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