My new apartment has this wonderful storage area under the stairs that lead to the neighbors apartment. Its not "cold" in there but it certainly isn't hot, and it is totally dark. No vents or anything in there. But most of all is space that SWIMBO is letting me have free and total reign over, all our other closets have clothes in them that she doesn't want to smell like beer.
Note the carboys are indeed empty, I have a kit coming from AHS along with what I need to start a batch of graff cider as well.