Subject: The Husband Store
A store selling new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the
products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose
any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor,
but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
the sign on the door reads: Floor 1: These men Have Jobs. Fine enough, but
she chooses to ascend to the 2nd floor.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2: These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
Still not alluring enough. She moves on.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are
Extremely Good Looking. "Wow" she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4: These men Have Jobs,
Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. Still,
Not incentive enough.
"Oh, mercy me!," she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!." Still, she goes to
the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are
Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help With Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads: Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store!
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just
across the street.
The first floor has wives who love sex.
The second floor has wives who love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"
"I would like to die on Mars, just not on impact." Elon Musk