Dealing with Telemarketers - Home Brew Forums
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Old 12-20-2006, 03:09 AM   #1
Orpheus
 
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If this is indeed real, I've got to try this one day:

http://www.funnynewswire.com/wordpress/?p=51
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Old 12-20-2006, 03:52 AM   #2
Yuri_Rage
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I'm not allowed to answer the phone anymore when it says "Unknown Caller." Here's why:

Regardless of what the telemarketer says, I repeat one word or phrase incessantly, like, "No," or, "Thank you," or, "My dog's nuts are HUGE!"

OR

"Sure, I'm VERY interested. If you'll just give me your name, address, and home phone number, I'd be happy to call you back during dinner at YOUR house to discuss this matter further."

OR

"Actually, I've got a deal for you! I've got four used snow tires in my garage just begging for an owner. I'm asking four easy payments of $25 plus shipping, or you can pick them up at your discretion. You already have my name and number."

OR

"I'm with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm willing to give you the offer of your lifetime: SALVATION! Have you read the Book of Mormon? Do you know there's a newer testament to the Bible? Well, if you'll just give me a few moments of your time..."

Apologies to the Mormons...it's just too easy to pick on you guys sometimes...
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:07 AM   #3
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That's a pretty good one. Sometimes I just say random things that don't make any sense. One of the funnier things you can do it repeat everything they say in the form of a question.

Usually, I just say take me off you list and hang up. I've noticed that I don't get too many calls now that my number is unlisted
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:13 AM   #4
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I let my 2 year old daughter speak to them.
...maybe that is why she has an indian accent. I was wondering how she got that. My Scottish accent throws them a beauty - I ham it up and they don't have a clue and just repeat the same sentence over and over again. F 'em.
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Old 12-20-2006, 04:14 AM   #5
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I tell them to e-mail or phone-mail me a picture of their naughty parts before I'll proceed. The way I figure it, if they send the picture they deserve to make their pitch.
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Old 12-20-2006, 05:05 AM   #6
Ize
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I am a fan of the ones that call for my wife with her maiden name. We've been married almost 4 years but we still get em'. I never tell them wrong number, I just sit on the line and keep answering "nope, she's not here, no-one here by that name, etc". They don't think to just ask for her by her first name, they just keep going for first and last, and as soon as I hear that, (or however they've butchered the pronunciation of her maiden name) it's just "nope, no-one here by that name." They eventually give up.

Courtesy of Caller ID, the ones that call repeatedly I usually let her have. She tears them a new orifice for calling 6 times in one day, I laff hysterically and then tell the 2 year old not to use language like mommy.

Ize
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Old 12-20-2006, 02:22 PM   #7
Hopfan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuri_Rage

"My dog's nuts are HUGE!"
Laughed out loud on that one!! I used to let my son (2 at the time) speak to them. That was before the national "DO Not Call Registry". Thank "Brew Assassins moldy wort" for that piece of legislation.
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Old 12-20-2006, 02:23 PM   #8
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Actually, SWMBO and I don't have a landline. We use only out cell phones and telemarketers aren't allowed to call cell phones, so we never get them any more.
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Old 12-20-2006, 02:45 PM   #9
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I love talking to them. Especially after Ive been drinking. Ill just talk to hear myself talk, while they are trying to talk over me with their little spiel. Its funny, no matter what you say, they keep on trucking through their speech
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Old 12-20-2006, 02:55 PM   #10
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My only score on a telemarketer was:

"Does your mother know what you do for a living?"

"No" ... click
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