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Old 12-17-2006, 06:10 PM   #1
treehouse
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Nov 2006
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I was thinking the other day while cleaning up after a particularly taxing and messy batch, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a servant come in and take over all the cleaning chores". It would go something like this.

My assistant, James, would be a dignified Englishman like somebody from Upstairs Downstairs who spoke with a slight Scottish brogue. He would be dressed in a dark suit with a clean white appron. He would have an amazing head of white hair. While I brewed away, he would quietly compliment me on my technique and skill. "Lovely way you stir that wort sir. Just lovely". "Thank you James. Now could you pass me that glass of "Treehouse's Incredibly Tasty Bitter". "Very Good sir".

After I was done brewing, I would signal to James that it was time for him to clean up the pots, pans, counters, instruments, etc. "James you can take over now. I'm going to step out on the veranda and drink a Wee Heavy. Carry on". "Very good sir".

Later, I would find a spotless kitchen and all the brew equipment sparkling clean, organized and stored away. "Thank you James. You may now retire. Oh, and here, have one of my prize winning homebrews for your troubles". "Excellent sir. Excellent. More than enough compensation sir."

After I awoke from this dream, I went downstairs and found sticky pots, dried grain stuck to the walls, many empties of "Treehouse's Sorta Good Ale" and the smell of hops and boiled grain in the air. "James?" I called. "Where are you James?" "James......."

 
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Old 12-17-2006, 07:17 PM   #2
magno
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
"Where are you James?" "James......."
Hes not over here, or maybe hes just slacking.

 
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:25 PM   #3
Ol' Grog
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Dreams....ahhhhh...what we could do with them if they became a reality. If mine came true to life, we'll, let's just say I'd be paying alimony and child support....

 
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:28 PM   #4
Cheesefood
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Jul 2005
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So you want a british dude instead of a hot, feisty german beerwench? I want a blonde Svetlana who brings me beers and gives me a shoulder massage while resting her boobs on my head. One who looks like St Pauly Girl, cleans like Martha Stewart and has an amazing sex drive.

You can have your dude. Enjoy him as your wish.
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:28 PM   #5
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Jun 2006
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Come on, if you going to have a servent, make it one like this...



She could sanitize my primary ANY time!
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:29 PM   #6
the_bird
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See, now THAT would have been a great 1,000th post!

Have you been holding out on us?
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:30 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the_bird
See, now THAT would have been a great 1,000th post!

Have you been holding out on us?
I thought my 1000th was pretty good - did you miss it?
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:31 PM   #8
the_bird
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Eh, looked like CGI porn. Not bad, but not realistic. Call me old fashioned!
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"I'm kind of toasted. But I looked at my watch and it's only 6:30 so I can't stop drinking yet." - Yooper's Bob
"Brown eye finally recovered after the abuse it endured in Ptown last weekend, but it took almost a full week." - Paulie
"no, he just doesn't speak 'stupid'. i, however, am fluent...." - motobrewer
"... I'll go both ways." - Melana

 
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Old 12-19-2006, 03:26 AM   #9
treehouse
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Nov 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the_bird
Eh, looked like CGI porn. Not bad, but not realistic. Call me old fashioned!
Not realistic? That was the way the maid that cleaned my house the other day was dressed. Well...maybe not quite like that...if I could afford a maid that is...which I can't...But anyway.

I'll still take James over the FemBot. It doesn't look like that feather duster would be very good for scrubing dried hops from a fermenter bucket.

 
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Old 12-19-2006, 03:33 AM   #10
EdWort
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Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
My assistant, James, would be a dignified Englishman like somebody from Upstairs Downstairs who spoke with a slight Scottish brogue. He would be dressed in a dark suit with a clean white appron.


Uh, I got your bitter right here, sir..

 
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