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Old 02-19-2010, 05:51 AM   #1
jyeary90
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Well since I'm drunk let me ramble about some problems I've been having. I seriously think I have depression or something like that. Not to sound cliche, but life seems really pointless. I wake up every day, go to class, and go to bed. Nothing ever changes, nothing really offers me happiness. I generally dislike socializing with other people because I dislike other people, and although I have hobbies I just don't find myself deriving the pleasure from them that I used to. In addition I am starting to take the 4000 level classes in my major and they are really proving to be quite the challenge. I mean I just recently discovered homebrewing and I truly enjoy it however you can only homebrew every so often, especially being a college student. I want to go talk to a university counselor because it's free, however I really don't want to at the same time because I'm afraid all their going to do is shrug me off as another depression case, write me a prescription for some meds, and that will be that, and more drugs in my life is the last thing I honestly need. But really I just feel depressed all the time, and it also feels like I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone and that I can't relate to anyone I know. I'm an openly bisexual man whose interests include taling politics, mathematics, and philosophy which really sets me apart from my peers, and doesn't give me much common ground on which to form a friendship. I absolutely despise popular culture, mainstream music, television, and I hate the video games everyone else enjoys playing. In a college environemtn this is really alienating because who the **** thins learning calculus is fun?


 
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Old 02-19-2010, 06:25 AM   #2
mordantly
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who the **** thins learning calculus is fun?
a friend of mine has been working on his phD at uc santa cruz for the last 2 years in math! (we're class '02, he plans to teach math at some level)

as to the depression stuff, you gotta talk to somebody man. it isn't a problem "that will solve itself" except with a catastrophic resolve. twice in my life have pondered swallowing the 12 gauge... but why? that would mean you've quite. why let someone else win anyways? besides, my cat of 9.5 years would be an orphan. some treatment of some sort is in order, but only a professional will know the most effective route for you. good luck on your journey..

 
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Old 02-19-2010, 12:20 PM   #3
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I say talk to someone and try and resolve whatever it is that's going on. Take advantage of the free counselling if it's available. Depression can take over your life. Don't ignore it and don't try to overcome it by yourself.

My prayers go out to ya.
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Old 02-19-2010, 01:58 PM   #4
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more drugs in my life is the last thing I honestly need
what does this mean?

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I wake up every day, go to class, and go to bed. Nothing ever changes
some day you will wake up everyday, go to work, and go to bed. it's called being a man.

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life seems really pointless
it is really pointless, on the surface. it's all about the little things. go do something nice for somebody you don't know. go on a hike. get a pet. be a big brother to an underprivlaged child. donate some time to a soup kitchen feeding homeless people. sponser a family for christmas. go lay down and make a snow angel in some snow. make yourself a ridicoulusly large ice cream sundae that you could never eat before it melts and try anyways.


i'm not a counseler, in fact i'm pretty sure i just spelled it wrong, but it seems to me you're probably fairly young, and this depression you're feeling is "life". i remember when i was younger, and first got married, and had actual "responsibilities" and had grown into the routine of wake up, work, get home, sleep, repeat. i had a lot of the same questions i think you may have, and thoughts you've shared. the day i realized that i could be a whiner, and say woe is me, this sucks, OR appreciate the little things, and make my own happiness, i made a choice to be happy. you can't always depend on other people to make your happiness, especially when you're one of the minority, free thinkers of the world. you say you really enjoy brewing but hard to find the time. i call B.S. there's 24 hours in a day, if you truly enjoy something, you'll make time, every time. if it's a money issue, and you've just recently discovered brewing, go to the library and study up on brewing. if you're interested in it, learning more about it will be fun, enjoyable, and not cost you any cash.
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Old 02-19-2010, 02:17 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by jyeary90 View Post
In a college environemtn this is really alienating because who the **** thins learning calculus is fun?
Me, Me, Me.

Now that I am older.

I just wish I understood it.

 
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Old 02-19-2010, 02:20 PM   #6
shecky
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Yikes. I would seek some sort of help but you first have to change your attitude about it. If you go in with a closed mind (which seems so counterintuitive for somebody who is openly bisexual), you're already in a bad spot. If indeed you are depressed, and it sure sounds that way, you are NOT going to be able to pull yourself out of it.

I'm confused by the drug comment. If illicit drugs are your thing, stop. They'll only make matters worse. It sounds as if you're admitting to a problem, but not open to getting help. You need to take some action. Life is what you make of it. My life isn't much different than yours. I wake up, work, take care of my kids, go to bed and do it all over again the next day. The key is finding some joy in even the smallest of things.

Get some help, please. And good luck.

 
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Old 02-19-2010, 02:21 PM   #7
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jyeary:

Yes, you are depressed. If it isn't being caused by a recent tramatic event in your life than it is most likely a chemical imbalance in your brain. The drugs are sometimes necessary to get the chemicals rebalanced in the brain. After that you can address the social and personal issues that you are finding unsatisfying. You do really need to find someone you trust to talk with. It is important to do this as soon as possible.

Although there are many wonderful people on this forum and we will often freely lend advice and a shoulder, this is not the place you need to be asking these questions. Depression is quite a serious issue and should be addressed by someone in a professional capacity while you still have the desire to do something about it.

Shake off the doldrums and address it now. We'll be here brewing beer when you get back.
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Old 02-19-2010, 05:54 PM   #8
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From my experience, every college should or does have "free" counseling for its students. I say "free" because you already pay for it through your fees. I have taken advantage of it twice in my life and would recommend you do the same. They could help identify the causal issue(s) in your life that can break the depression.

I would also agree that focusing on someone else and the issues they suffer from (homelessness, hunger, lost, etc) can really bring some light into your world. You say you are alienated in your life. I would suggest creating your own environment in the college setting: create a social group for your interests. You would be amazed at the number of people that find math fascinating (me being one of them). Obviously, a math group would be one option, but I am sure there are other interests in your life that you could form a group. Plus, the college usually has a fund for student organizations, so you are out $0 and get you some much needed socializing with like minded people.

I bet you could create a crazy college group like: http://stasfa.tamu.edu/stasfa/

I know you stated you are not into pop culture and games, but this is just an example of an organization that is offbeat.

Good luck
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Old 02-19-2010, 07:13 PM   #9
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Counseling is definitely a good idea. Medication is a first step for many people, just because they are too depressed and can't discuss their problems. For some, the meds are all that is needed, others need counseling, some both. Some illegal drugs really mess up you brain chemistry. Ecstasy clobbers serotonin, which is tied to depression. My brother did a lot of illegal drugs, but hated taking the legal ones; go figure.

Don't expect meds or consoling to make you happy. They are just a ladder out of the pit.
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Old 02-19-2010, 07:34 PM   #10
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he like Chainsawbreing said get out and do stuff for other people. go volenteer somewhere and help people. the interaction and the fact that you put a smile on someones face with possibly worse problems than you will more than likely put a smile on your face. and all life is is just one big rut anyways. i am 24 have 2 kids an i am soon to be in iraq for the second time. and i know i made the choice to do what i do so i am not complaining about that but sometimes you just have to step back look at things. once you do that you might find out that some of the things you stress about arent really that bad man. and if that dont work talk to someone and dont be embarassed to do so. i had to do it when i got back from iraq. and its not like the counsellor is going to laugh at you or look down on you its their job to help you. just dont do anything you will regret or something.

 
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