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Old 01-29-2010, 01:40 AM   #1
eljefe
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Trust me I know from experience. Thought I would share for those who want to avoid the conflict as well as for those that want to bring it on.

1) Start brewing a batch hours before her friends come over
2) Store bottle bombs in the closet with her shoes
3) Plant rhizomes in the garden without consulting her and watch the hop runners kill the flowers
4) Freak out when she goes near the bottling bucket by claiming she is unsanitary
5) Fill the basement with empty bottles
6) Fill the utility sink with bottles soaking in Oxyclean and tell her she can't do laundry
7) Spill a bag of grain all over the floor and do a poor job cleaning it up
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Old 01-29-2010, 01:42 AM   #3
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8) Have a massive honey boilover (JAOM) and don't clean up the tile floor afterwords.
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I would never use a dead mouse in my beer. It's much better to use live ones. You could probably just steep a dead one, but live ones must be mashed. Actually, smashed and mashed would be best.

 
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Old 01-29-2010, 01:44 AM   #4
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I don't have a swmbo but I think this thread rocks!!!
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Old 01-29-2010, 01:54 AM   #5
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9) Tell her it will save you money and won't take up any space and be hardly even noticeable. Then next thing she knows it takes up half the basement.
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Old 01-29-2010, 01:57 AM   #6
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10) When she tells you that a carboy draped with a T-shirt looks tacky in the living room, replace the T-shirt with one of her blouses.

I've done a million of these. Give me time, they'll all come back.
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I would never use a dead mouse in my beer. It's much better to use live ones. You could probably just steep a dead one, but live ones must be mashed. Actually, smashed and mashed would be best.

 
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Old 01-29-2010, 02:00 AM   #7
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Quote:
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10) When she tells you that a carboy draped with a T-shirt looks tacky in the living room, replace the T-shirt with one of her blouses.

I've done a million of these. Give me time, they'll all come back.
That's awesome!
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Old 01-29-2010, 02:07 AM   #8
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11) Build a dedicated shed to house all of your brew gear and continue to store brewing supplies in every closet and several kitchen cabinets.
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Old 01-29-2010, 02:15 AM   #9
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12. Say, with the upmost sincerity, "I swear dear! This is ________is the very last item I need. I promise, I won't need anything else ever." Then two weeks later, remember why you need just "one more thing".
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Old 01-29-2010, 02:17 AM   #10
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11) Build a dedicated shed to house all of your brew gear ...
If only...

 
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