I think you might be over-analyzing how to steep grains a bit...it's almost the same as steeping a tea bag. Just bring the boil water up to temp (usually around 150-ish), steep the grains for about 15-30 minutes, and then proceed with the recipe. Excessive tannins will give that astringent mouthfeel, just like red wines do. Make sure you don't squeeze or re-dip the bag more than once. Also let the steeped water rest for 30 minutes to an hour afterwards.
Bottled/Fridge: Sierra Nevada Celebration
Bombers/Growlers/Aging: The Abyss, Firestone 19th Anniversary Ale
Coming Up: something spiffy, most likely