Although modern Milds tend to be low ABV and low bittering, historically they were 50-70 IBUs.
But 4-8 oz of chocolate or amber malt would do the trick.
Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"
"I would like to die on Mars, just not on impact." Elon Musk