Originally Posted by Edcculus
Man, I thought this was going to be a better story than just not being able to brew inside...
I admit the title was intended to be a teaser.
My brewing adventures have been comical for quite a while. I'm always careful but disaster seems naturally attracted to me. And it always seems to target my wife to make matters even worse. Some of my escapades:
Early in my career I had a carboy on the top shelf of our shared closet. I didn't know about using a blow-off tube during initial fermentation so in the middle of the night we heard "Boom!" and went into the closet to find a sticky green mess all over the ceiling. She was not amused since all the shelves below the carboy were full of her crap.
I should also mention she despises the smell of beer. She'll drink it occasionally but her family and alcohol don't mix well together so the smell of large quantities of it makes her quite unhappy.
After being banished from the closet I moved to the laundry room. I'd switched to a conical by then and fermentation was so frisky the first time I used it that the rubber top lifted straight off the top and the floor became a sticky, smelly mess. She was not amused and claimed all the clothes in the laundry room were forever tainted with beer smell.
After being banished from the laundry room I secretly switched to the small closet under the stairs. That worked for a while until I made a fruit beer and it managed to lift the bung out of the carboy (even with a blow-off tube) and leave a sweet, sticky, berry mess on the floor. Fortunately it smelled more like raspberries than beer at that point so I got away with it (I cleaned it up before she got home). But she still wonders what the funk is in the closet and why the coats smell like berry bread.
As I initially stated, I was completely banished from the house when a Party Pig with a small crimp in the rubber seal developed a pinhole leak and sprayed the exact same set of shelves in our closet (which still contained all her crap). I'm not allowed to keep anything but dry equipment in the house. I now use the upstairs closet where we keep all our holiday decorations (no attic or basement in the house) for filled bottles (in sealed Rubbermaid bins) and extended secondary fermentation. Note that over the weekend she complained that the Christmas decorations "smelled like beer" even though there hasn't been any leakage yet.
I should probably give up brewing, but I like it too much!