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Old 10-16-2006, 05:48 AM   #11
Biermann
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaLTy
I can't say it until the statute of limitations runs out.
Sure you can. I'm not sure lawyers know how to brew. *L*
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:57 AM   #12
Biermann
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Also in the top ten:

When I moved to Carbondale, IL (SIU),

the first night there I went out to drink with my cousin (female--helped me move), and my best friend. I had at least 6 pitches of beer myself.

Well, in all my drunken wisdom, my buddy talked me into buying a case of Rolling Rock on the way home. I drank half of it.

The next morning, I woke up in an unused bedroom in my apt, with my shirt off, curled up in the corner.

I went downstairs, and found my cousin (female) on the couch asleep. The front door to the apt was hanging wide open.

I called my buddy on his Cell, and asked "what the F@#$ happened?"

He replied, "I left at 0400, and you were driving the porcelain bus passed out at the wheel---with your shirt off."

I spent the afternoon afterwards eating Taco Bell Gorditas all the while with a raging headache.
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Old 10-16-2006, 06:24 AM   #13
Yuri_Rage
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Biermann
I went out to drink with my cousin (female--helped me move)

The next morning, I woke up in an unused bedroom in my apt, with my shirt off, curled up in the corner.

I went downstairs, and found my cousin (female) on the couch asleep.
You and the cousin were clothed in separate rooms...no harm, no foul, as I see it. And if you were in Kentucky, other conclusions would've been perfectly acceptable as well.

Others that top my list:
EDIT (to protect the innocent...er, uh...well, me): Strip poker with less than desirable opponents.

Went to "Boystown" south of Acuña, Mexico...enough said if you've ever heard of the place or had the misfortune of going there yourself.

Tried to walk home from a bar on 4th Ave in Tucson. Spent the night parked in a parking space at the local VA hospital (without a car). Woke up when a pickup truck parked next to me, finding myself using my shirt for a pillow.

Shaved things.

Spray painted someone's car fluorescent orange...without permission.

Played bumper cars...with real cars...on purpose.

And this has the potential to qualify as #1 every time I do it:
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Old 10-16-2006, 06:43 AM   #14
EvilTOJ
 
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YOGA FIRE!

OK, here's one of my stupid stories. We were out in the woods, burning pallets and mattresses in a huge bonfire. Several hours had gone by and it was mostly coals, but still there was some flame. I came up with the brilliant idea to jump over the fire pit. I'm not sure if I went first or not, but I know that I at least attempted to do it. I took a huge running start, and just as I was planting my foot for takeoff, it slipped in the mud. I flailed over the fire not quite sure if I was going to fall onto my back into the flames or make it. I did actually make it over but it was close My wife said later that if I fell into the fire, she was going to kick me until the flames were out, then keep kicking me a little more. Gawd I love her That was also the same party that I squeezed through a window that was barred up, but that story's for a different day.

Seriously, Biermann, if you value your sitting gear, use some preparation H in anticipation of the habanero's dramatic exit. You may lose your dignity, but better than feeling like you have a lawn aerator going over the mountain pass.

 
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Old 10-16-2006, 12:14 PM   #15
Tom Church
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I have my fair share of stupid things I have done...but my friend Nick takes the cake on this one...

We where hanging out in has yard drinking when he got a great idea to take care of a tree that had been hit by lighting and broken in half. So he climbed up there with a saw (not a chainsaw, I was able to talk him out of that) and started cutting...well he cut off the branch he was sitting on...15' down he came riding the branch like Wile E. Coyote . He was very lucky and only walked away with some scrapes and bruises.

This was almost 10 years ago...he still has not lived it down!!!

Tom

 
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Old 10-16-2006, 03:26 PM   #16
Biermann
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HABANERO has exited the building!!!!

Good Lord. I feel like someone sprayed MACE all over my tail end!!



I was seconds away from running around my office dragging my bare a$$ on the ground
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Old 10-16-2006, 03:26 PM   #17
Biermann
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Church
I have my fair share of stupid things I have done...but my friend Nick takes the cake on this one...

We where hanging out in has yard drinking when he got a great idea to take care of a tree that had been hit by lighting and broken in half. So he climbed up there with a saw (not a chainsaw, I was able to talk him out of that) and started cutting...well he cut off the branch he was sitting on...15' down he came riding the branch like Wile E. Coyote . He was very lucky and only walked away with some scrapes and bruises.

This was almost 10 years ago...he still has not lived it down!!!

Tom
ROTFL!!

I'm pretty sure that would be good material for Ebaum's world. . .*L*
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Old 10-16-2006, 03:44 PM   #18
Pumbaa
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The internet is not big enuff to list every stupid thing I have done when drunk . . . or sober for that mater. Heres a short list of some of the off the top of my head things . . .
  • Punched a camel I HATE camels and those dirty bastards spit (U.A.E.)
  • Got into a fight with the Australian Navy (about 50 vs 10 . . . we lost but drank for free for the rest of the week, the Ausi's bought )
  • Tryed to "sleep it off" in my car (wasnt driving at all that night) and woke up in the Navy hospital with a BAC of .380
  • Walked through a door (closed) trying to prove to my Mom I wasnt drunk (after I was rolled to the front door on a scooter . . . the kind you use to work on the under side of your car)
  • ate a beer mug
  • Hung a cop by his underware on a fence when he tryed to arrest me for being drunk (Hong Kong)
  • Kissed a cop and shoved him in the bushes when he tried to arrest me for being drunk (Singapore)
  • Declared myself a mecenary after the Offier of the Deck wouldnt allow me back on the ship because I was too drunk to stand and request permision to return (I dunno either but they said it worked)
  • Took over a Air Traffic Controll Tower the ordered planes to be shot down because they werent listening to instructions (turned out to be a water tower and the pilots couldnt hear me yell clearances to them)
  • Stole a sign from the USMC, sign read "Do Not Enter - Deadly Force Authorized"
  • Reorganized the Admirals lawn gnomes into pornographic positions (NAS Alemdea)
  • Declared "WAR" on Tiajuana and beat the hell out of a mexican light post . . . it attacked me
  • Told Vice Admiral James Stockdale he should kick H. Ross Perot's ass for making him go to the Vice Presidential Debate and making himself look like a retarded old fool - fortunately he had his hearing aids turned off . . . again (some bar off base in San Diego)
  • p1ssed on the US Navy . . . well on the NAS Corpus Christi front gate . . . in front of the sentrys . . . ran . . . got caught . . . resisted . . . got beaten down and taken back to my barracks . . . found out later the Sentries were the guys in the barracks room next to mine
And you guys wonder why I have so much home brew and am trying to work myself back up to a brew a day . . .
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:13 PM   #19
david_42
 
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Since I have a very high IQ and a low tolerence for alcohol, I get sick long before I get stupid. This may or may not be a good thing.

On the other hand, I've eaten those little red peppers in Chinese food while sober.
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:15 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david_42
Since I have a very high IQ and a low tolerence for alcohol
Aww, don't be so modest!

 
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