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Old 10-16-2006, 04:45 AM   #1
Biermann
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I'll be the first to start, only because I did one of my top ten most stupid things TONIGHT.

I'm one of the co-founders of a local beer tasting club. . . tonight we had one of our monthly meetings. One of our members brought some home grown habanero peppers.

Well, after tasting a few brews, a dare occured, and people dared me that I could not eat and chew up a habanero pepper.

I proved them wrong-------only to end up outside, with my tongue swollen up 5 x normal size. I was literally licking concrete to make the pain go away. I was drooling on myself and having a bit of trouble breathing.

For a minute, I was actually questioning my intelligence and whether or not I should go and give myself an epinephrine injection and call an ambulance.


It was totally AWESOME.
I'm sure I'll pay for that habanero about 0900 in the morning when it comes out the other end.

The term "$#itting razorblades" comes to mind.





This one totally ranks in the top ten.

That said, I'd love to hear of other people's drunken confessions.
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:00 AM   #2
DesertBrew
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I have nothing to say but ROFLMAO and yet feel sorry for ya.

Isn't it amazing that nature wraps those seeds around something so sinister as a hot pepper so no animals will eat them? cept for us 2-leggers.

Oh yea, your bungholeo is going to feel like your tongue tomorrow as well.

 
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:02 AM   #3
Biermann
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yeah, good times. . ..good times. . .. .
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:16 AM   #4
Monk
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"fire in the hole!"

 
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:28 AM   #5
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I'll submit a stupid for your approval as well.

A couple years ago, after I'd been dating my future wife for about a month, we took a trip to vegas with some friends. My now-wife had previously worked for a corporate housing company that supplied traveling execs with a furnished condo to live in for a few weeks at a time. Anywhoo, she called up an old friend and got us all into a two bedroom condo for free. It was great! So my wife and I go to a wedding on Saturday, hit the reception, then drive to Vegas. We get to vegas around 10pm and meet the crew, hit a bar and one of those ridiculous yet fun dance clubs. I drink a lot of double-whisky and cokes. We get back to the condo around 5 am and all crash--the dudes in one room and the ladies (all unattached) in the master bedroom. I got up a couple hours later and go to take a piss. In the bathroom, opposite the sink, is a huge hole in the drywall. I do a double take. I vaguely recall using the bathroom earlier, but not kicking a hole in the wall. So I investigate the hole. It's too high and too large for a kick. Too low for a head butt. Too big for a knee............ah. I turn around and bend down a bit to confirm: yep, it's a butt-hole. So somehow, I reckon, I managed to fall backward and throw my ass straight through a wall, then get out and go back to bed.
The worst part was teh few minutes after I told my future wife what i'd done and before she started laughing.
Afterward we took a picture as a dramatic reenactment. I don't know how to post pictures or I would show you.

Cheers! And try to keep your asses out of the drywall!
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:36 AM   #6
Biermann
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That's a good one.


Also in my top ten. . .

I went on a fishing trip, and drank a piss load of doppelbock. . . I woke up in the middle of the night in the cabin bathroom on the wet floor with the lights off, and the water running in the shower and the sink, and with toilet paper all over the damned place.

I had no idea how I got there, and what the hell possessed me to go to the bathroom, turn all the damned water on, (with the lights off mind you), and wallow around on the floor in a pile of wet toilet paper.

To make matters worse, I cleaned up the mess, and the next morning when my buddy went to take a $#it, he was cussing about the fact that there was no toilet paper anywhere in the cabin.

I blamed the lack of TP on the maids, and not on my drunken bathroom misadventure.
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:39 AM   #7
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That's nothing...

As we were walking home one night (the smartest decision of the evening), of my own drunk volition, I took a spin on a tiny, pink, kid's bicycle...and even wore the pink helmet. The helmet did me no good, however, when I turned the handlebars too far and wiped out. I put a foot down to break my fall...the fall was not broken, but my ankle was...in two places. I spent the next 90 days recovering from the break + required surgery that put a stainless steel screw temporarily throught the bones in my ankle.

Dumbass.
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:39 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Biermann
I blamed the lack of TP on the maids, and not on my drunken bathroom misadventure.
Good cover.
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:43 AM   #9
Biermann
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuri_Rage
That's nothing...

As we were walking home one night (the smartest decision of the evening), of my own drunk volition, I took a spin on a tiny, pink, kid's bicycle...and even wore the pink helmet. The helmet did me no good, however, when I turned the handlebars too far and wiped out. I put a foot down to break my fall...the fall was not broken, but my ankle was...in two places. I spent the next 90 days recovering from the break + required surgery that put a stainless steel screw temporarily throught the bones in my ankle.

Dumbass.
OMG!!!

At least none of mine ended up in surgery . . . . or wearing a pink helmet.
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Old 10-16-2006, 05:45 AM   #10
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I can't say it until the statute of limitations runs out.
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