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Old 11-06-2009, 03:34 PM   #51
Registered User
Dec 2007
Posts: 9,043
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I suggest the "bro" hug. Go in for the back tap, then about 3/4 of the way in snap your left hip violently in (think golf swing) while bringing up your left elbow at his right ear.

As he's falling to the ground yell out DO YOU LIKE APPLES! Before he gets a chance to reply (if executed correctly there will be no response), yell out, HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES? Hilarity will ensue.

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Old 11-07-2009, 03:16 AM   #52
Dwain's Avatar
Feb 2009
Hill Country, TX
Posts: 1,135
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I have a friend that is a manster. He's 6'5" and weights probably 280, no fat. Back when only old men and bikers carried guns, it seemed like everytime we went to a bar, someone about a foot shorter than him would talk smack. He would avoid it almost every time. But once in a while, he would clock one. The vast majority of the time, that one punch would end it. Usually, a day or two later I would jack him up about it. His standard response was:
"Sometimes, them little guys need an a$$ whoopin'.

Now, other than a stop by a pub somewhere, I drink my homebrew in my shop with friends or family. - Dwain

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Old 11-07-2009, 02:52 PM   #53
malkore's Avatar
Jun 2007
Posts: 6,922
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This is why I don't go out to drink.
Primary: English Mild
On tap: Pale Ale, Lancelot's Wheat, English Brown Ale, Steam Beer, HoovNuts IPA
Bottled: MOAM, Braggot, Raspberry Melomel, Merlot, Apfelwein, Pyment, Sweet mead, Cabernet
Gal in 2009: 27, Gal in 2010: 34, Gal in 2011: 13, Gal in 2012: 10

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Old 11-07-2009, 03:01 PM   #54
Sep 2009
Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 802
Liked 8 Times on 8 Posts

I think I have the real solution. If someone is trying to fight you, quickly take off all of your clothes. No one, and I mean not a single person, is going to try to fight the drunk naked dude. Problem solved...

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Old 11-07-2009, 03:04 PM   #55

Originally Posted by malkore View Post
This is why I don't go out to drink.
I don't like crowded bars these days. Too many young punks that think they gotta prove their manhood. When it gets crowded combine drunkeness, accidental bumping, loose tongues and ego.... ....bring in jealousy issues when comes to women. Time to bail, sooner or later a conflict is about to erupt.

Not to mention, those of us who are older are smarter about the driving. I'd say the DUI thing keeps me from staying out late more so than the crowd. It doesn't take much to get .08% BAC. Not to mention if you are drinking at a place sells good micros its too hard to judge whats gonna get you past .08% Especially if you don't eat, like happy hour after work.
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. - Dale Carnegie

On Tap; Special Export, Spring SmaSH Summit, House Amber.

BS Nano-Brewery

|Myeast 50327|Easy Hop Oast|Smoked Homebrew|

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Old 11-07-2009, 03:40 PM   #56
dontman's Avatar
Oct 2008
Philly, PA
Posts: 2,402
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A guy died in a stupid little bar fight this Summer here in Philly.

What started out as some silly little macho dick swinging between a few guys in a bar ended up with a wife and two kids without a father (and son, to his parents) and three other guys in prison for "8-10 years" for aggravated manslaughter. I work with the mother of one of the three in prison. She is a shell of the woman she was before her son went to prison. It is horrible to see.
On Tap: 1. Kelly R. IPA, 2. Roter Hund Hefeweizen, 3. Bud Killer Blonde, 4. Red Dog Pale, 5. Roter Hund Oktoberfest, 6. Pumpkin Ale, 7. McRed's Stout (with new nitro system and stout tap,) Cream Soda, 8. ESB # 3, & 9. Ordinary Bitter.

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