One word: Lager
I had to move my Blackberry wine into the kitchen. The fermentation slowed down enough that I would have had to rig some auxiliary heat and I didn't want to bother. Three weeks later, it's still chuffing.
Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"
"I would like to die on Mars, just not on impact." Elon Musk