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Old 07-13-2009, 10:05 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by GilaMinumBeer View Post
The wife and I had an all out today. Turns out, I am a lazy bastard and she's just bat-sh!t crazy.

Her biggest complaint of the day, is that I spend too much time outside in the yards. W......T.....F?

She "claims" that it takes away time spent with my three year old and completely excludes my 6 mo old. Of course, she also "claims" that I do little to help with the 6 mo old.

1. The 3 year odl is outside WITH me 90% of the time. HELLO, that is primarily why I am outside in 90*F fooking heat.

2. The other 10% is spent on property upkeep. Yards, gardens, etc....

3. When I do attend to the 6 mo old she takes him away b!tching that "I am doing it wrong" (Her REAL complaint here is that I don't tend to the baby at night, but again, she comes in and takes over before I have the bottle filled when I do).

Okay, that is the preface. Somewhere along the lines between yeaterday and today the keys to her car have been mis-placed. We only realized this afternoon. Of course, I was the last one to drive the car.

I spend the better part of the evening tearing the house apart trying to find the keys. My biggest concern is that I have a bad habit of setting things on the bumper of my truck. Rarely, I forget but I have a couple times. I don;t think I put the keys there but.......

Of course I haven't mentioned this to her. Point here is that, she hasn't raised a finger to look for the keys. And I have only just now given up the search (and gotten on here). I hate this. I feel breached. Like the potential is there that someone could steal the car, break into my home, and rob us blind.

She has no care at all and is, in fact, asleep.

There are still a few places I have yet to triple check but, they are in room with little people sleeping.

So, in summary, she has issues with me spending time outside in my own fooking yard but, when the keys to our house and car go missing it's not such a big deal as to lose any sleep.

Am I the only one who sees a issue with this?
Cliff's notes: "I have a 6 yr old and a 3 yr old . . . oh, and I lost my keys."

A 6 month old and a 3 yr old means that you're both sleep deprived, peace deprived, and sex deprived. She has weird hormones coursing though her body making her think weird thoughts. You are stretched thin and working double time and can't get a moment to think straight. That sucks. In 2 more years you'll all be happy again. Suck it up, be a good dad and husband to the best of your ability and treasure the good moments. It gets better.

Lost keys? My 2 1/2 yr old has started dropping car keys down the heating floor vents. Check there. Then pockets and purses. Then the car ignition. Then the freezer. If you don't find them, they might have gotten flushed or thrown out in the trash (Daddy's little helper doing a little clean up.)

Good luck.

 
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Old 07-14-2009, 03:43 AM   #22
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Found the keys! They were in the garden out back.

Sleep deprived? Maybe so, I forgot that the last time those keys came up missing we took the house key off the set. Doh.

 
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Old 07-14-2009, 12:31 PM   #23
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Glad you found them! It is a lot of work to change all the locks, just the thing you don't need right now
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:04 PM   #24
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Found the keys! They were in the garden out back.
You know I always just went and had a copy made for an extra key....never thought about growing my own.
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:28 PM   #25
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So glad you found them!
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:30 PM   #26
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At least you found the keys, now off to the marriage counselor you go.
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Old 07-14-2009, 01:38 PM   #27
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It's that 'BS crazy and has been a long time' thing that speaks of more than acute tiredness and associated blame games.

I am a firm believer that many often ignore the warning signs of physiological illness, and dismiss it as other things, or poo-poo the possibility since 'they are all like that at times'. Or it's just the kid(s), and she'll come around in a few years, and it keeps getting more pronounced and those kids wind up growing up in it.

You can think the best of this and try to maintain your current status of having your stuff and keeping your marriage, but you don't hold all the cards here, and protecting yourself while trying to also get her some help is a more sound plan, than just wishing it was different.

At some point, as they say, it is best to cut and run and limit your liabilities.

Guess how I know.
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Old 07-14-2009, 02:08 PM   #28

GilaMinumBeer

I'm a stay at home Dad, due to layoffs. I have a 7 month old.

My wife is high strung and gets Bat$hit crazy. By that I mean she gets distructive, it pisses me off. I went grocery shopping and she didn't like that I bought stuff to make ice cream. She started whipping the food on the tile floor. Making a royal mess. I'm like WTF is your GD problem. I was going to make her favorite ice cream. "Fresh Strawberry w/ white chocolate". She was whiggin' out saying we can't afford it... Its BS. She is having her hair colored today....

I do have to get my house ready to sell, since I can't find a job and we can't live on $600 a month once all the bills are paid. Anyhow, I watch the kid all day, feed him, change diapers and bathe him. I clean house, do all the laundry, mow the grass and I also look for a job 2-3 hours a day. She does nothing around the house. In the evening, she complains the she has too spend half the night watching her son after working all day. As I either clean the garage or work in the basement I am a LAZY POS Mutha Farker!!!! Thats is how I have been branded since I don't have a job and I DON'T WORK!

She is full of $hit. I know that. If I find a job, things will get better for us. Neither of us want to sell.

Try to bite your lip on the "not doing it right" thing or ignore it altogether. I used to get that all the time right after my son was born. I took it for a bit, then I put it to a stop with her mom & dad right in front of us. I said a big "NO - I don't I just do it differently." I refused to allow her to take over. I was holding my son in away they never saw done before. Sitting down, I crossed one leg and laid him in the crook like he was sitting in a bucket seat. I still do it to this day. That comment stopped shortly, she went back to work after 12 weeks off.

Glad you found your keys.

I would try to talk to her and ask that she not go bat crazy in front of the kids. Try to talk and listen. She may be trying to tell you something that you are dismissing as unimportant. Which it might very well be but the dismissal part might trigger that BC-ness. I tend to do this myself which sets my wife off. Sometimes I do it intentionally to set her off, but I'm prepared for the rant. I usually try to avoid making her BC if possible. Occasionally, I do it as joke like pretending I got a speeding ticket!!!

Do you have grand parents closeby? Maybe both of you need a week some place nice so you can act like your single for bit.
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Old 07-14-2009, 02:25 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Schlenkerla View Post
GilaMinumBeer

I'm a stay at home Dad, due to layoffs. I have a 7 month old.

My wife is high strung and gets Bat$hit crazy. By that I mean she gets distructive, it pisses me off. I went grocery shopping and she didn't like that I bought stuff to make ice cream. She started whipping the food on the tile floor. Making a royal mess. I'm like WTF is your GD problem. I was going to make her favorite ice cream. "Fresh Strawberry w/ white chocolate". She was whiggin' out saying we can't afford it... Its BS. She is having her hair colored today....

I do have to get my house ready to sell, since I can't find a job and we can't live on $600 a month once all the bills are paid. Anyhow, I watch the kid all day, feed him, change diapers and bathe him. I clean house, do all the laundry, mow the grass and I also look for a job 2-3 hours a day. She does nothing around the house. In the evening, she complains the she has too spend half the night watching her son after working all day. As I either clean the garage or work in the basement I am a LAZY POS Mutha Farker!!!! Thats is how I have been branded since I don't have a job and I DON'T WORK!

She is full of $hit. I know that. If I find a job, things will get better for us. Neither of us want to sell.

Try to bite your lip on the "not doing it right" thing or ignore it altogether. I used to get that all the time right after my son was born. I took it for a bit, then I put it to a stop with her mom & dad right in front of us. I said a big "NO - I don't I just do it differently." I refused to allow her to take over. I was holding my son in away they never saw done before. Sitting down, I crossed one leg and laid him in the crook like he was sitting in a bucket seat. I still do it to this day. That comment stopped shortly, she went back to work after 12 weeks off.

Glad you found your keys.

I would try to talk to her and ask that she not go bat crazy in front of the kids. Try to talk and listen. She may be trying to tell you something that you are dismissing as unimportant. Which it might very well be but the dismissal part might trigger that BC-ness. I tend to do this myself which sets my wife off. Sometimes I do it intentionally to set her off, but I'm prepared for the rant. I usually try to avoid making her BC if possible. Occasionally, I do it as joke like pretending I got a speeding ticket!!!

Do you have grand parents closeby? Maybe both of you need a week some place nice so you can act like your single for bit.
Wow. My situation to near perfect detail. She went BSC on me cause I opted to sleep in an extra 30 minutes. And the argument exploded to a fight because she swiped the table in anger splashing hot coffee in the direction of my son. To that, I exploded.

All is calm now. Of course, it could just be the eye of the storm per se.

Thanks for hearing my rant.

Unfortunately, we are a semi-detached family. My mother has some severe health issues and is not reliable enought to care for my boys. Dad is in another state. As for her family, they are all (for the time being) in another country. We do have a good couple of friends but, both my wife and I are extremely protective. It's everything I can do to keep my boys in daycare.

 
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Old 07-14-2009, 02:32 PM   #30
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The poor economy is keeping many that would have otherwise separated together for economic reasons.

Stress brings about irrationality. Talking these things out in rational discussion can be difficult.
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