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Old 05-24-2009, 12:00 AM   #1
JoeMama's Avatar
Nov 2008
Posts: 1,202
Liked 5 Times on 5 Posts

I just read this on the Zynga forums for Mafia Wars. (Silly little game I play on Facebook)

This was posted in the general help section.
I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I gotta give this guy a 10 on originality.

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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 11
Don Couthard is on a distinguished road
Unhappy Please, urgent help, hope this is right section

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 20 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My peni.s farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my peni.s can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but peni.s farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes
Ergo Bibo Sum - I drink, therefore I am.

Eggo Bibo Sum - I drink, therefore I waffle.

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Old 05-24-2009, 02:10 AM   #2
Jan 2009
Wyoming, Michigan
Posts: 922
Liked 6 Times on 5 Posts

Holy shyt! Fell out of the chair on that one! I want to read the replies he is getting, they have to be priceless.
Rockin' L Fabrication and Beverages

Gambrinous - to be full of beer

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Old 07-07-2013, 11:04 PM   #3
TheCrackpot's Avatar
Dec 2011
Findlay, OH
Posts: 246
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I just stumbled upon this old post and thought it deserved a bump.

I had just finished reading the "It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound..." line when the GF asked what I wanted for dinner.

I just stared at her for about 15 seconds before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. I couldn't stop long enough to explain what the hell was so funny so I just handed her the laptop. Laughed until I cried.
No one gives a damn about the things I give a damn about.
The liberties that we can't do without seem to disappear like ghosts in the air.
When we don't even care, it truly vanishes away.-Jason Isbell

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