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Old 03-24-2009, 05:00 AM   #1
dontman's Avatar
Oct 2008
Philly, PA
Posts: 2,402
Liked 27 Times on 22 Posts

Washington, DC: Sources claim that Al Gore will be lobbying to introduce a bill which will in effect outlaw any alcoholic beverages that are carbonated, His stance is that all of the CO2 produced by the yeast in beer and other malt beverages and the co2 that is used to carbonate the beer is contributing in enormous degree to the global warming that we all agree is happening.

He goes on to describe the process in more detail saying that it is obviously a known fact by everyone who cares about their family that global warming is occurring. At such a fast rate, he says, that both polar ice caps will be gone entirely by 2013. Since that is true and since everyone knows that it is excess CO2 in our atmosphere that is causing the calamity. The three biggest producers of CO2 he claims are cow flatulence, beer manufacturing, and beer farts and burps.

He argues that this process is being hastened in large degree by all of the CO2 that can be traced to beer production and its consumers. He snapped at one point in the press conference and yelled no, this is nothing like prohibition. This is important and, my good friend Ed Begley assures me it will work" During the announcement he pointed at someone from the press corps drinking what appeared to a Budweiser and yelled at him: "You sir, with that Budweiser can, do you realize that I have direct proven scientific proof that everytime that you belch the first few letters of the alphabet you directly kill two harp seals." Going on: "If you doubt anything that I've said watch my 2 time Academy Award Documentary An Inconvenient Truth."

This bill is expected to pass congress and the senate largely along party lines. People with dissenting opinions and truly valid arguments against any policies being enacted based on scientific research with political and profit motive are being moved to Guantanomo Bay for "forced vacation"

Gore seemed ebullient as he left the press room. He made a throwaway comment as he walked out; Do you folks realize that by the time Obama is out of office half of our laws will be based on Global warming."
On Tap: 1. Kelly R. IPA, 2. Roter Hund Hefeweizen, 3. Bud Killer Blonde, 4. Red Dog Pale, 5. Roter Hund Oktoberfest, 6. Pumpkin Ale, 7. McRed's Stout (with new nitro system and stout tap,) Cream Soda, 8. ESB # 3, & 9. Ordinary Bitter.

Old 03-24-2009, 05:04 AM   #2
olllllo's Avatar
Apr 2006
Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 13,330
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Wow and he got Coke and Pepsi to divest themselves from themselves.
Rabbit And Coyote Schwag
Rob - Phoenix Ambassador to Milwaukee
Where did your avatar go?
Ginger Beer for Moscow Mules Bacon Vodka

Old 03-24-2009, 05:35 AM   #3
Sep 2008
Lafayette, CO
Posts: 494
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts

Do you write for The Onion in your free time? That's thar is some funny good $#!t right thar!
Kelpie Home Brewery, Lafayette Colorado
Primary: Creek Dog Stout x2, Two Dogs IPA, Grinning Kelpie Wheat
Secondary: empty :(
In Bottles: Belgian Wheat

Old 03-24-2009, 05:40 AM   #4
lamarguy's Avatar
Aug 2008
Austin, TX
Posts: 1,653
Liked 26 Times on 25 Posts

You guys, I'm super serial. Man-bear-pig is real!

Doggfather Brewery

Planned: Lambic, American IPA
Fermenting: 6 gals of 1.090 stout (Belgian) & 6 gals of 1.090 stout (English)
Tapped: Berliner Weisse, Black English IPA, German Pils, & Live Oak Primus

Old 03-24-2009, 05:42 AM   #5
Feb 2009
Posts: 89

If that's true.

Al Gore can suck my c=====3.

Old 03-24-2009, 05:48 AM   #6
Mar 2007
Cortez CO
Posts: 217
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

you made that letter, number and equal signs look like a penis. hehe that's cool! Al Gore is an idiot. That's all I have to say about that.

Old 03-24-2009, 05:57 AM   #7
Jun 2008
tulsa, ok
Posts: 976
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts

haha i love it. some dude drinking a bud at one of al gores presser
from or living in oklahoma? come join us in the oklahoma group

Old 03-24-2009, 05:59 AM   #8
May 2007
San Diego, CA
Posts: 4,276
Liked 19 Times on 17 Posts

Not only is this retarded, it is over a year old.

The Spoof : Al Gore Alarmed Over CO2 in Soda and Beer funny satire story

Old 03-24-2009, 06:11 AM   #9
llazy_llama's Avatar
Jan 2009
Rapid City, South Dakota
Posts: 2,839
Liked 90 Times on 28 Posts

I got a chuckle out of it. I got a bigger chuckle out of reading the few responses that thought this was real. Made my evening.
Originally Posted by Catt22 View Post
I would never use a dead mouse in my beer. It's much better to use live ones. You could probably just steep a dead one, but live ones must be mashed. Actually, smashed and mashed would be best.

Old 03-24-2009, 06:21 AM   #10
Jan 2009
Posts: 1,556
Liked 45 Times on 29 Posts

Originally Posted by llazy_llama View Post
I got a chuckle out of it. I got a bigger chuckle out of reading the few responses that thought this was real. Made my evening.
Haha same.

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