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Old 03-22-2009, 11:05 AM   #1
Evets's Avatar
Jan 2006
Lancaster County, Pa.
Posts: 1,955
Liked 243 Times on 108 Posts

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four
years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it
has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

New Zealand

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Old 03-22-2009, 12:21 PM   #2
Jan 2009
Wyoming, Michigan
Posts: 922
Liked 6 Times on 5 Posts

ROTFLMAO!!! That is great! I have to print this and take it to work. Awesome!
Rockin' L Fabrication and Beverages

Gambrinous - to be full of beer

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Old 03-22-2009, 04:15 PM   #3
Loweface's Avatar
Sep 2007
Limerick, Ireland
Posts: 1,037
Liked 8 Times on 8 Posts

Yup. Thats coming into Uni with me tommorrow...
Originally Posted by Me
In the process of buying a bar... One drink at a time...
Originally Posted by chortly View Post
...homebrew contains more satisfactrons per serving, so you don't have to drink as much as you would a commercial beer to get to your satisfactron saturation.

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Old 03-22-2009, 04:40 PM   #4
Feb 2009
Stephens City, VA
Posts: 111
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That my friend, just made my day!

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Old 03-22-2009, 04:45 PM   #5
Oct 2008
Bass Lake, Ca
Posts: 446
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts


i like it.
too hard to keep up with whats in the primary and whatnot.

primary 1 thru 5: beer, or air
secondary: beer, or air
bottle conditioning: lot's of beer

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Old 03-22-2009, 07:30 PM   #6
Maniacally Malty
DeathBrewer's Avatar
Apr 2007
Oakland, CA
Posts: 21,790
Liked 269 Times on 134 Posts

lol, isodopes...
Easy Partial Mash Brewing - Stovetop All-Grain Brewing

"Death is always with us." - Brewpastor

We will remember...

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Old 03-23-2009, 04:59 AM   #7
Sep 2008
San Diego
Posts: 127

thank you i really needed that today LMFAO just great

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Old 03-23-2009, 05:38 AM   #8
Ceedubya's Avatar
Aug 2008
Helena, MT
Posts: 1,460
Liked 12 Times on 12 Posts

totally stealin this..... shhhhhh.
Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here! - The Dude

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

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