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Old 02-27-2009, 01:16 AM   #11
llazy_llama
 
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Jan 2009
Rapid City, South Dakota
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/applause

(10)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catt22 View Post
I would never use a dead mouse in my beer. It's much better to use live ones. You could probably just steep a dead one, but live ones must be mashed. Actually, smashed and mashed would be best.

 
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Old 02-27-2009, 01:17 AM   #12
BooneDocks
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Sep 2008
Wyandotte, Michigan
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Use fewer malt when less hops are added.

 
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Old 02-27-2009, 01:22 AM   #13
Beau815
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Feb 2009
Clinton, NY
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can someone tell me how to even start a thread? or cant you unless you pay money?
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:19 AM   #14
nakros
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Jan 2009
New Brunswick, Canada
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Quote:
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences up with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
Once I read the first three, I figured a reply was unnecessary.

 
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:48 AM   #15
BierMuncher
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beau815 View Post
can someone tell me how to even start a thread? or cant you unless you pay money?
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:51 AM   #16
shecky
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Watertown, CT
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CPAle View Post
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences up with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Ihate quotations. Tell me what you know."
25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Hey, I'm the grammarian around here. Still, I think I love you.

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Old 02-27-2009, 02:53 AM   #17
JVD_X
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Next thing you know they will want us to be sober when writing.
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:54 AM   #18
BierMuncher
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JVD_X View Post
Next thing you know they will want us to be sober when writing.
Then I'm signing off.

 
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Old 02-27-2009, 02:59 AM   #19
Dr_Deathweed
 
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Jul 2007
Bryan, Texas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangeJet View Post
Was this irony intended?
Quote:
Originally Posted by CPAle View Post
keep reading
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangeJet View Post
Stupid me
Quote:
Originally Posted by BierMuncher View Post
I told you.

That right there has made my entire evening... which is rather sad...

I did not notice a rule about ellipses...

I never use those...

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Old 02-27-2009, 07:33 AM   #20
TexLaw
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Houston, Texas
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Alright. That, right there. That's not only funny; that's good.


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