Sounds like you need some gear for long-term monitoring
. A half-dozen of the wireless thermometers placed at appropriate locations in the basement with the PC interface for charting trends should provide you with the optimum location for fermenting based on style, yeast and time of year.
Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"
"I would like to die on Mars, just not on impact." Elon Musk