Fake troll thread titles - give us your best!!

Got the idea from a response someone made in a thread that gave me a laugh. Some post questions are so outlandish people often think the OP is trolling so I thought it would be amusing to make a thread in which we could come up with our own imaginative fake troll thread titles. Here's three I just thought of:

Can I make a Barley Wine without barely, just with wine?

First brew ever, due to a typo I boiled for 600 minutes instead of 60! My wort is like syrup, can I top off with water?

Please help, about to brew!! My immersion chiller came without instructions!!


Rev.

Hahaha.

There was one a while back:
"Help, doing first AG, forgot to add water, is it ruined?"

Skipped fermenter and put wort and yeast straight into bottles. Okay?

"Figured out a new way to ferment using bread yeast w/o sterilizing. Critique my recipe."

12/:8 hilmbrews and imm nit drunkk,!! WtFFFff???!?!!??

B**ch mom dumped my brew. I'm 16 and I know what I'm doing!!!!!

"Got arrested while brewing 'It's just a wort chiller, officer'"

Edit: my neighbors think my chiller is a still for moonshine

TyTanium said:

Hahaha.

There was one a while back:
"Help, doing first AG, forgot to add water, is it ruined?"

Click to expand...

I loved that one!

Brewing milk stout. Do I sparge/lauter with whole or 2%?

"Can I still call it a Belgian Wit even though I made it in Westchester County?"

"I've Google searched for hours with no answer. What type of nuts am I supposed use in a Nutbrown ale??"


Rev.

JonM said:

12/:8 hilmbrews and imm nit drunkk,!! WtFFFff???!?!!??

B**ch mom dumped my brew. I'm 16 and I know what I'm doing!!!!!

Click to expand...

Loved these two!!


Rev.

I want to put tobacco and marijuana in a batch and then distill it. Little help?

dataz722 said:

I loved that one!

Click to expand...

Here's the thread for those that missed it:
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/forgot-key-ingredient-does-matter-much-280208/

Instant classic.

TyTanium said:

Here's the thread for those that missed it:
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/forgot-key-ingredient-does-matter-much-280208/

Instant classic.

Click to expand...

It had so much potential too but didn't live up to it.

My 12-year-old kid can't hold his liquor.

My name is mikedavid00. I've learned my lesson. Can I come back to HBT please?

Hahaha. NO.

I've thrown out all of my batches because of this nasty smell during fermentation. Obviously they were all bad and infected and full of pathogens!

Another great one from a couple years ago was something along the lines of "are all homebrewers alcoholics?"

"Help...how do I know if my beer is done fermenting"


Don't even pretend you don't hate these threads....there has to be roughly 2,000 threads that have been started in this forum...and that's rounding down.I cringe when I see people actually waste pages and pages of space answering this question when it has been answered over 2,0000 times. That;s why there is a search button.

I knew it was around here somewhere.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/so-how-many-you-im-alcoholics-149665/

"I like Bud Light"

"I like BMC"

and so on

Here's a recent one , apologies to the poster..
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f36/forgot-grind-grains-304563/

"Edwort is an idiot."

The ultimate troll for those who love apfelwein.

(I have 6 gallons going on a year right now, still haven't tasted it.)

"Help! No bubbles in airlock! Should I attach it to the carboy?"

bernerbrau said:

"Help! No bubbles in airlock! Should I attach it to the carboy?"

Click to expand...

To go along with this:

"help! I forgot to add carbonation the fermenter."

How much food coloring should I put in my stout?

That one about forgetting the water was a great read! A very good troll he was or a very discouraged brewer he became.

How about...

"My DME got wet, can I still use it?"

"I invented a new beer style!"

"What size carboy to use for a 20 lb grain bill?"

This:

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/bottling-problem-forgot-beer-303114/

My personal favorite!

One that drives me nuts is:

"subscribed"

GO TO THREAD TOOLS!!!!!

Wow, I read these at work, and started laughing out loud! These are great.
Can I make one up?

Help! My gravity going into the boil is too high. What do I do?

Or. Help! My gravity going into the boil is lower than my estimated OG!

How about: How long do I boil the yeast for, to make sure they're not infected?

y my keg beer go on fire??!?!

dataz722 said:

I knew it was around here somewhere.

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/so-how-many-you-im-alcoholics-149665/

Click to expand...

The title of that thread made me laugh hard and then I started drooling a little bit.

Couldn`t find it but theres the "didn`t have any sanitizer so I pissed in the bucket"
that was hilarious.

This one was fantastic:
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f13/alternative-brewing-290603/

Was 2 cups sugar too much to sweeten my milk stout?
What is the strongest, fastest beer to make?
Is it okay to sell my beer for "tips"?
How many hop rhizomes are needed for root beer?
My first brew ever: Belgian sour cherry mocha lager.

"I've had my beers bottled for 3 whole days and they are still not carbed. What gives?"

The guy with the piss bucket had me rolling... and THEN some guy came up with "I ran out of shampoo so I crapped in my hand, I hope this works." I nearly pissed myself I was laughing so hard.

I posted this one in jest a few weeks or a month or so ago:

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/bottling-problem-forgot-beer-303114/

why do I keep reading this as "Fake Troll titties"?