Well, Thank you Budweiser!!!

I was in Walmart this afternoon. I wasn't buying beer, I was looking for a DVD for the missus. However, when I am in a place that sells beer, I always like to go and visit it. I put down a prayer mat and mumble a few incantinations to the brew Gods, then have a quick glance to see if there is anything interesting on the shelves.

I digress.... I had just got done with my homage to the beer gods when I heard a couple talking about the Bud "American Ale" in front of them. The male half was sounding tempted to try them, the female half was thinking about house decor.........Now, at this point I have to ask you....Have you seen that new Bud TV ad where the glass develops "bumps" and becomes an English style pint glass?.......Well... Female half says to male half, "Sure, buy some!...I wonder they sell those Budweiser glasses with the funny bubble thing on the side too?

WHAT!!?? WHAT did you say you stupid lardass f%cking witch!!??? F%CKING "BUDWEISER GLASS!!!?? It's just a frigging beer glass you brain dead moron!! You think Bud actually invented a new glass to go with their "just about acceptable at a pinch" excuse for an ale!! DAMMIT!!!!

I didn't spend the best part of my 52 or 53 years (I was born in '57, work it out for yourselves, ********, I'm too angry) drinking out of those things only to come over to the USA and have my **** re-invented for me!! Get a life, fat *****! The world does not end Wally World!!!

After fuming a bit, I came to realise that she had no reason to know any better, it's not her fault, and she wasn't fat, she was just pleasantly cuddly........But the damage is being done! Evil Bud is eventually gonna pretend they invented the English pint!!! I know it!!! And their "American Ale" is soooo not awful, but not at all good either!! BEER IS GOING McDONALDS in America

Wow, been awhile since the Gnome had a rant. Talley-ho, my good man.

What were you doing in Walmart? I thought you Brits were more refined than that.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

BEER IS GOING McDONALDS in America

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And yes, I do realise that BMC already took care of that.....It was a f*cking rant, was I supposed to THINK about it too?

shecky said:

Wow, been awhile since the Gnome had a rant. Talley-ho, my good man.

What were you doing in Walmart? I thought you Brits were more refined than that.

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I hate Walmart, but not as much as I hate the people in them....That includes my good self. .......Are you safe? How can I be sure you are not obese trailer trash spying on me?

Reading that is like a good fart. You know it's brewing in there and ready to explode at some moment and when you least expect it... WHAM! Sheck all over your monitor.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

I hate Walmart, but not as much as I hate the people in them....That includes my good self.

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Well, there you go..

So how WAS the shopping experience?

HBHoss said:

Reading that is like a good fart. You know it's brewing in there and ready to explode at some moment and when you least expect it... WHAM! Sheck all over your monitor.

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That makes three times today.

In all fairness, Sam Adams did invent their own glass, so why can't Bud. And if the English pint is now to become a Bud Invention, what are the Brits going to do about it. Remember what happened the last time the redcoats got into a p!ssing contest with us.

Edit: Let's not overlook the link between Sam Adams and the little scrap I am talking about.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

BEER IS GOING WALMART in America

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Fixed that for ya.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

Get off my lawn!

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FTFY

EdWort said:

Well, there you go..

So how WAS the shopping experience?

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I'm guessing Gnome cleared the place out as soon as he showed up. Whole place to himself.

McKBrew said:

In all fairness, Sam Adams did invent their own glass, so why can't Bud. And if the English pint is now to become a Bud Invention, what are the Brits going to do about it. Remember what happened the last time the redcoats got into a p!ssing contest with us.

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It doesn't matter what the rest of the world does, or thinks thinks about anything. America has selective hearing.

Huh? what did you say?

As long as they don't serve my Ale in a straight glass I'm happy.

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

.......Are you safe? How can I be sure you are not obese trailer trash spying on me?

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Oh, no. You found me out. You discovered my secret. At least you didn't find out about my 80s style "big hair", too.

Ya. They also make beer that you can drink. They have ads professing the beer's drinkability.

I never thought beer would be drinkable in my lifetime.

Now I can tell he kiddies.... when I was a lad we couldn't drink beer because it wasn't drinkable... we just poured it on our face.

Hmmm, I have not seen or heard any BUD commercials (thankfully) but that seems odd to me. If their model is an American Pale Ale (they do call it AMERICAN ale after all) wouldn't it be more appropriate to show the stock and trade of American drinkware which for better or worse has become by default the shaker pint glass?

Or are they trying to be as obfuscatory as ever and not pin down what it really is; maybe its an English pale ale, maybe its an American, so that they cannot fail if it does not fit either style.

Or maybe it is just because the nonic is just cooler looking...


Prepare to get really mad when they start serving your pint in a frosted nonic @ 33F

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

But the damage is being done! Evil Bud is eventually gonna pretend they invented the English pint!!! I know it!!!

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Silly Gnome, everyone knows it was almost certainly the Scots who invented bobbly beer glasses. We also invented the conjugation of "sheck" (which should be the title of the lads autobiography!)

Yeah Walmart gives me the rage.

shecky said:

Talley-ho

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Say What?

Screw Wal-Mart...

Now im going to invent my own glass

olllllo said:

Ya. They also make beer that you can drink. They have ads professing the beer's drinkability.

I never thought beer would be drinkable in my lifetime.

Now I can tell he kiddies.... when I was a lad we couldn't drink beer because it wasn't drinkable... we just poured it on our face.

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I don't "LOL" to the internet very often, but that, my friend, was HILARIOUS!:fro:

I agree with the bove, I LOL the same

You know that you may have missed your moment of intervention? That man was on the cusp of learning to like real beer. I think that a few moments of rational persuasion was all that was needed to convince him to try that American Ale, and THEN try something even better!

Seems to me they were only a half-step away from beer snobbery.

Homercidal said:

You know that you may have missed your moment of intervention? That man was on the cusp of learning to like real beer. I think that a few moments of rational persuasion was all that was needed to convince him to try that American Ale, and THEN try something even better!

Seems to me they were only a half-step away from beer snobbery.

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Very good point! I'm not a beer evangelist though, at least not with total strangers. I have a foreign accent, and if I use it in a surprise attack it often confuses people and they don't hear what I'm actually saying. They just look at me funny for a while before eventually asking what part of Australia I'm from.

Edit: The Jeep man's "Pour it on our face" comment totally cracked me up too!

shecky said:

Wow, been awhile since the Gnome had a rant. Talley-ho, my good man.

What were you doing in Walmart? I thought you Brits were more refined than that.

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a brit that moved to ohio... how refined can he really be?

edit: the commercials i've seen for the budcrap lead me to believe they want the public to think they created the entire american ale style.

uglygoat said:

a brit that moved to ohio... how refined can he really be?

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Depends on where in Britain he's from.

uglygoat said:

a brit that moved to ohio... how refined can he really be?

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I'm well f*cking refined!!! I come from the same hometown as Ken Russel (Film director) and Benny Hill! (Sexual deviant)

You want refinement!? I can show you guys f*cking refinement anytime!!.....I can fart the tune of Beethoven's 5th! You can't get more frigging refined than that!

michelob makes a dunkelweizen now

Humbug said:

As long as they don't serve my Ale in a straight glass I'm happy.

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you prefer them flamboyant glasses?

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

I have a foreign accent, and if I use it in a surprise attack it often confuses people and they don't hear what I'm actually saying. They just look at me funny for a while before eventually asking what part of Australia I'm from.

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+1

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:

Edit: The Jeep man's "Pour it on our face" comment totally cracked me up too!

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+100000000