The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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Not for nothing but there is something that's been bugging me for a while. I am so sick and tired of school crossing guards stopping traffic half a mile away from the god damned school if some kid so much as looks across the street. Look, if those little bastards can't make it across the f'ing street without some hausfrau in a yellow jacket jumping out into traffic waving a stop sign to help them we, as a society, don't want them to survive till adulthood. If they do they'll reproduce and bring a whole new generation of idiots who can't manage to cross a street into our midst.
 
We'll make sure to put a crossing guard in front of your nursing home Paulie - just to piss you off.

You know, if you'd stop driving while the kids are out you would avoid the whole situation.
 
There actually aren't that many crossing guards around. They just have to keep a roving army of them around Paulie at all time, to ensure he doesn't come within two hundred feet of any children.
 
The worst part is that the little fu(kers feel entitled, as though God himself has decided that they have some sort of right to walk across any god dammed street anywhere and all traffic needs to immediately crash to a stop. And they grow up feeling like this and then they're adults and just step off the God damned curb into traffic, looking right at you the entire f'ing time, daring you to run their asses over.
 
Just for you Paulie.

B4S_crossingguard02_106402c.jpg
 
I wouldn't mind that. At least those little bastards are moving their asses. It's when they saunter across the street at the speed of arthritic turtles and look at you and laugh . "Look, I made you stop and there's nothing you can do about it."

We're doing them a grave disservice. Those little pricks ought to have a healthy respect for a 3/4 ton truck moving at 30 mph. I guarantee, run one of the little sh!ts over and all their little friends will learn a VERY valuable life lesson.
 
I don't like anyone.

Especially Cape.

And retarded little sh!ts who think they have some sort of divine right to make the entire civilized world stop in its tracks so that THEY can cross the street.

Hey kid, you want some rights on the road? Get your old man to pay excise taxes on your f'ing Air Jordans.

Till then, stay outta my f'ing way. You've been warned.
 
paulthenurse said:
I don't like anyone.

Especially Cape.

And retarded little sh!ts who think they have some sort of divine right to make the entire civilized world stop in its tracks so that THEY can cross the street.

Hey kid, you want some rights on the road? Get your old man to pay excise taxes on your f'ing Air Jordans.

Till then, stay outta my f'ing way. You've been warned.
Click to expand...

and me?
 
Look, I'm just the one who is saying it. You all know you feel the exact same way. Ride down the street at three in the afternoon. You want to open a vein. The f'ing bus will stop at a house. Some little **** gets out. Mommy is waiting at the end of the driveway. She hugs the little bastard like he's just returning from Mars, then the two of them turn to wave goodbye to the bus. Then the bus starts down the road and stops AT THE VERY NEXT DRIVEWAY!!!!!! And the whole process is repeated!.

And we're not talking about the feeb bus either. The regular bus. Da fuq?
 
bluemoose said:
Hey you kids, get off my lawn!
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Don't forget about the squirrels.


I'm gonna have to agree with Paulie tho. The street I exit out from on the way to work is very narrow. There's one of those bus stops every 30' at the intersection and instead of mommy walking the 30' from their house to the bus stop, she needs to pull the SUV/boat out and drive it the 30' to park it right at the intersection blocking half the road. I guess she needs the comfort of heated seats in order to txt and squak as she sits and waits for the bus to come.

Meanwhile they're blocking the exit onto the busy street and the other parents returning from dropping their kids off come screaming around the corner without looking as you try to pass the parked SUV onto the street.

It's even worse if the rug rats are outside of the car. They'll start darting back and forth from one side of the street to the suv. Meanwhile, mom is waving hello to me while I'm giving the hairy eyeball and murmuring expletives as an on coming car is about to crash into me.
 
TheDudeLebowski said:
Don't forget about the squirrels.


I'm gonna have to agree with Paulie tho. The street I exit out from on the way to work is very narrow. There's one of those bus stops every 30' at the intersection and instead of mommy walking the 30' from their house to the bus stop, she needs to pull the SUV/boat out and drive it the 30' to park it right at the intersection blocking half the road. I guess she needs the comfort of heated seats in order to txt and squak as she sits and waits for the bus to come.

Meanwhile they're blocking the exit onto the busy street and the other parents returning from dropping their kids off come screaming around the corner without looking as you try to pass the parked SUV onto the street.

It's even worse if the rug rats are outside of the car. They'll start darting back and forth from one side of the street to the suv. Meanwhile, mom is waving hello to me while I'm giving the hairy eyeball and murmuring expletives as an on coming car is about to crash into me.
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You're being kind. Because let's face it, usually mommy is sitting in the friggin' SUV putting on her friggin' make up and talking on her cell phone, while her spawn is out running around on the sidewalk.
 
InkBird 300

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