The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Are you effin' kidding me!?!?! This thread consistantly delivers pure awesomeness.... except when Yeager posts. But... even with Yeager's posts, the overall awesomeness of this thread far out-weighs that part of things.

It's like Monopoly meets Stephen Hawking. Five houses gets you a hotel. This thread is like a supernova. Five stars in your run of the mill thread gets you a red dwarf, ten red dwarfs gets you a quasar, ten quasars equals us, a supernova. Except, like you point out, Yeager is our black hole on wheels. A nerdy void, sucking the life out of everyone around him.

paulthenurse said:

It's like Monopoly meets Stephen Hawking. Five houses gets you a hotel. This thread is like a supernova. Five stars in your run of the mill thread gets you a red dwarf, ten red dwarfs gets you a quasar, ten quasars equals us, a supernova. Except, like you point out, Yeager is our black hole on wheels. A nerdy void, sucking the life out of everyone around him.

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Cape, is it still a mystery after this post?

Where the hell is Hadley? I may be heading up there for ~1 week or so sometime in April/May...

paulthenurse said:

It's like Monopoly meets Stephen Hawking. Five houses gets you a hotel. This thread is like a supernova. Five stars in your run of the mill thread gets you a red dwarf, ten red dwarfs gets you a quasar, ten quasars equals us, a supernova. Except, like you point out, Yeager is our black hole on wheels. A nerdy void, sucking the life out of everyone around him.

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that post made me fart

Hadley MA??? That's out in the middle of freakin' no where. That's out in The Bird country. Folks have sex with their cousins way out there.

I apparently already voted on this thread. I can't up it. We can always ***** and moan to TX to reset the rating.

You coming to Hadley? Sweet. That's about an hour from here, between Amherst and NoHo. LOTS of good times to be had out in that area (both are very much fun college towns), let me know when you're going to be up and I'll show you around.

.... and have sex with someone's cousin. don't forget that part.

This isn't Alabama, we don't bang our cousins our here. Circle-jerk, MAYBE.

Ohhhh... Hell... Az will fit right in then. When I ran into him out at the NHC that's all he kept going with. "hey, do you know if there are any good circle-jerks going on?".

Me: "uhhhhh. Sorry Az. Uhhh. No, I dunno"

Az: "we should totally organize one"

Me: "uhhh. Nah, I'm good"

I guess he had even won a medal for one at some point. I do NOT wanna see what that medal looks like. Plus, its probably all sticky.

the_bird said:

You coming to Hadley? Sweet. That's about an hour from here, between Amherst and NoHo. LOTS of good times to be had out in that area (both are very much fun college towns), let me know when you're going to be up and I'll show you around.

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I'll let you know...

Cape Brewing said:

Ohhhh... Hell... Az will fit right in then. When I ran into him out at the NHC that's all he kept going with. "hey, do you know if there are any good circle-jerks going on?".

Me: "uhhhhh. Sorry Az. Uhhh. No, I dunno"

Az: "we should totally organize one"

Me: "uhhh. Nah, I'm good"

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That was Soper, not AZ. PKU.

Wait a minute, I thought they had sex with farm animals out there. They do their cousins too?

Their cousins ARE the farm animals, ya MO-ron.

Gotcha, thanks for clearing that up.

AZ_IPA said:

That was Soper, not AZ. PKU.

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ah, sht.... That's right!! Now I remember cause he said he always went "two times"!!

I don't you ya are.... That's funny right thar'

Oh sure, Brian, you keep telling yourself how we're all splitting our sides listening to the details of you three riding around during the NHC in your $50K Rent-A-Penis, playing "Creme-The-Cookie.". Too bad you didn't bring Dakota in his Gimp steamer trunk. He likes cookies.

paulthenurse said:

Oh sure, Brian, you keep telling yourself how we're all splitting our sides listening to the details of you three riding Atkinson your $50K Rent-A-Penis, playing "Creme-The-Cookie.". Too bad you didn't bring Dakota in his Gimp steamer trunk. He likes cookies.

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Paul, only you like cookies that much, to let them not go to waste.

"Guys stop putting the cookies there, your getting them all sticky"

Mmmmmmm. Cookies.

paulthenurse said:

Mmmmmmm. Cookies.

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So gross.

Upgraded my home bar this weekend. Bought a danby mini fridge and put it in a cubby near the bar and ran two lines to the bar. Also put in a new bar top and new 2 tap tower for a total of five taps. Just have to do the woodwork on the bar over since it has been there 10 years. I'll do that after I finish the "finish woodwork" on the bar top. Have to finish the polyurethane on the edges since my basement had crappy lighting.

So does this mean that we all get to tramp upstairs to the bar on U4 day? Has Her Imperial LeeAnneness signed off on that one yet? Cause I kind of like that upstairs bathroom. Too bad the toilet clogs up so easily.

I think five taps of blueberry ale is excessive

Cape Brewing said:

I think five taps of blueberry ale is excessive

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Just saying, theres only one tap of blueberry.

The others are cider, IPA, Blonde Ale, and American Brown

... sure they are

We believe you, Chris. Honest.

Just talked with the famous and ephemeral HBT'er Hippie. He's doing well, hiding off the grid in the boonies of North ButtFark, CA. A bit of news that should surprise absolutely no one, he's leaving tomorrow for a month in India 'on a shoestring budget.'. Knowing Hippie as we do, that probably means EXACTLY that, he's heading to the airport with nothing but a pair of shoelaces in his pocket. I predict he'll parlay that pair of shoelaces into becoming Maharishi of a cult of virgins by Friday. Have a wonderful time in India, Hippie, if you ever come back you'll need to fill us in on the details at a future Masstoberfest.

This is exactly what went through Flounder's head after my crack about five taps being blueberry ale...

"Ewww.. crap... I can't ADMIT it... ok, ok... THINK... I can't say NONE are blueberry cause they'll instantly know I'm lying through my teeth so one is blueberry. I have another blueberry on and those blueberry's were right next to the apples in the grocery store. Biiiiiiiingooooo! CIDER!! I have a blueberry ale that I snuck one hop pellet into. Can you say 'IPA'?!? The fourth blueberry ale... it's uh... it's kind of light in color. DUhhhhhh... they're ALL light in color... but this one... let's say... BLONDE! and then the last blueberry ale?? Ehhh... what's a beer no one EVER drinks so if someone comes over, they'll NEVER pull that tap and realize it is just another blueberry??? AMERICAN BROWN!!! This plan is FOOL PROOF!!"

If he said he had a sour on tap he knows we would be over punching in the combo to his garage door by this afternoon, so he couldn't go there.

LOL... yeah, I can see how that conversation would go....

"Uhhhh... you want to tie up a fermenter you could be making blueberry ale for me with... for a YEAR... on a beer that is going to be SOUR???"

... and then the brutal azzwhoopin' would come.

"no no... you're right dear. More blueberry really is the smarter way to go. I'll just tell the guys its a brown"

And you know what's funny? Her Most Imperial Leeanne-ness can't weigh 100 pounds.if she was packing away all that beer, even blueberry beer, she'd be a Clydesdale. Where oh where could all the beer be going? Chris SWEARS he doesn't drink it! It's a headscratcher.

Looks like TTB paperwork is going to be filed in the next couple of days, def before end of the week. All the paperwork is filled out and the only thing we have to do is secure the surety bond, which we have all set. All we have to do is cut a check for it.

:rockin:

Might not be a bad idea to hire someone who knows how to brew. I know a guy who makes a blueberry beer that he can't keep in stock. Just sayin '

Cape at least I don't force people to drink my a$$ beer made with oxy clean. Ya know the one you added extra dry hops to to mask the flavor????

Really looking forward to bog iron beer.......

yeager1977 said:

Cape at least I don't force people to drink my a$$ beer made with oxy clean. Ya know the one you added extra dry hops to to mask the flavor????

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I'm embarrassed for you

paulthenurse said:

Might not be a bad idea to hire someone who knows how to sparge. Just sayin '

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good point.

Pfft!!!

(high five for the guy from Az)

That's funny right there.

They told me that they had heated a total of 11 gallons for a ten gallon batch. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Hmm...Quiet here today. Too quiet...

In case any of you jaded reprobates missed this, Boston Beer is running a contest where the five winners will "help" brew a batch at their Boston Brewery.

Seems like a pretty cool way to spend a random day, plus you know you'll leave there needing a cab. So I'm in!

For those seeking more material rewards for entering, the 25 Finalists will receive a Samuel Adams Kegerator, while the first 2,500 people to enter will receive a set of 2 Samuel Adams Perfect Pint glasses.

No suckage there...

Cheers! And good luck!