The God#%!$ Cops Thread

Henrik said:

YouTube - Im not intoxicated

H

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Great clip... I love that show!!!

about 6 years ago me and two of my buddies went to Cleveland for spring break (yeah, i know weird destination) but we had a great time. anyways, coming back to indiana the traffic was crazy. Now my buddy at the time had an '87 Honda accord hatchback and all of our **** was piled in the back. we really couldn't see out the back window but we did ok. So we are on the interstate, going along with traffic and we see the red and blue lights in the side mirror. At the time, I had green hair and my other friend had red hair. The cops come up two on each side of the car. I'm riding shotgun and the cop on my side has his hand on his gun like he's going to have a shootout with me.

This piece of crap car burned oil faster than gas, so it did smoke and smell bad and the cop said he smelled weed. None of us smoked weed so we weren't worried about them finding anything. They take my friend (the driver) back to the squad car and interrogate him, saying the know we have weed and they will search our ****. He goes "FINE, IT TOOK US A GODDAMN HOUR TO CRAM ALL THAT STUFF IN THE HATCHBACK. BE MY GUEST!" The cop just looks at him and says "alright, head on home and don't tail people too closely" The reason they gave him for pulling him over was weaving in and out of traffic and following too closely, both of which weren't true.


Looking back on it, the third guy with us was apparently a big weed head back then and we didn't know it. Had they searched the car I think they would have found some grass and we'd be off to the Pen. that would have sucked.

I was flying back from Vegas into Baltimore a couple of years ago, and got into my car about 12am and noticed one headlight was out. Not much I could do at this point but drive home and hope I didn't get noticed (I had a 2 hr drive). About 20 min later I got pulled over and the cop gave me a warning ticket. I can understand that.

20 mins after that, another cop pulled me over for the headlight. I explained that I had just been pulled over and showed him the ticket. He took my license and registration and the ticket back to his car. He came back and says, "I gonna go ahead and write you a ticket for this". WTF, he saw I had just been pulled over, gotten a warning, and there was 0% chance I could have fixed my headlight between the two stops. Didn't cost me anything but it was still a pain.

Amusing:
I had an internship my Sophmore year in Ann Arbor, MI. I was moving my stuff back to my dorm room in East Lansing when I got pulled over. I was doing 35 on a road just outside of Pinckney. A cop going the other direction did a U-turn and pulled me over. He asked me about my speed and I informed him that I was doing 35.

He replied, "Well you know this is a 25 MPH school zone, right?"

I chose my words carefully and informed him that around 200 feet back, about where he had seen me, I had passed a 35 MPH speed limit sign. There was another sign, for 55 MPH, about 300 feet in front of me.

He took my license, registration and proof of insurance back to his car for about ten minutes. Then came back and told me he was letting me off with a warning.

Amazing:
Soon after I got my first Mustang, a 1999 V6 5-speed, it developed a case porosity issue. I had to take it back to the local Ford dealership THREE times to get it fixed. (First, they didn't do anything. Second, they didn't fix the problem. Third, they finally got it fixed.)

I took the car for a blast just outside of town with a friend of mine and got pulled over doing 110 in a 55. When the cop came to the window I handed him all of my documentation and explained that I was listening to the transmission and had to run it all the way through all the gears. I explained my problem with the local Ford dealership (a dealership with a well known poor reputation) and handed him the 3/4 inch thick stack of papers.

He let me go and told me to do it on the freeway.

I'm Canadian and haven't had any run ins with our cops.

I have had a couple while driving through the U.S.A. however....

Once on a trip to Florida, I became a kidnapping suspect in West Virginia and was held at gunpoint by the cops for over an hour. It was a case of mistaken identity, as I happened to be driving the same make of car involved in a kidnapping at a rest station that I had just stopped at.

More recently, I got pulled over by an absolute dickhead cop in Virginia because my license plate light was burnt out. I kid you not. He gave me a "Notice of Correction" which meant that I had 24 hours to get the light repaired. It was a big pain for me, since I was in the middle of driving all the way to Florida.

size said:

so there i am, at work, having ONE beer (sierra nevada PA) while i swept and mopped.

hop in my car to drive home, pass a parked cop on the way home. i know i have a burnt out tail light, and it IS 4:15am, but I had the pizza place I work for's sign on my car signaling i'm a delivery driver. we never get pulled over as long as we put that sign on our car, cops SHOULD have something better to do.

BAM, 2 cops on my tail immediately.

i had had that ONE beer about a half hour ago, and he still smelled it on my breath. all right, fine. but i was completely coherent, very polite, and completely compliant. no field sobriety test or breathalyzer necessary.

but alas, the cops didn't agree, so i had to waste 20 minutes of good drinking-at-home time pleasing the boys in blue.

but looking back, it was a bit funny:
Cop: So how many drinks have you had tonight?
Me: Just one.
Cop: Just one? What did you have?
Me: A Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
Cop: Sierra Nevada huh? Is that like an IPA or something?
Me: Well actually, an IPA is an india pale ale, while this is just a pale ale. see the difference is in the hop content and usually the alcohol level. while an IPA might average around ~8% alcohol, a pale ale is usually a bit lower. they named it an india pale ale because in the 1800's.... oh wait. this isn't relevant, is it?
Cop: Can I have you step out of the car please?

long story short after an extensive field sobriety test and breathalyzer he let me go with a verbal warning. he was kind of being unnecessarily dickheadish, and left me with a slight case of the shakes after the ordeal. but no harm no foul.

so what experiences have you guys had with the cops? any close calls? should-have-gotten-arresteds? gotten completely screwed over?

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I don't understand why pizza delivery vehicles are exempt from having proper saftey lights.

Pizza is very important. It is imperitive that the pizza arive hot, fresh and on time. All Americans, including the Police, understand this.

jgln said:

I don't understand why pizza delivery vehicles are exempt from having proper saftey lights.

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Cops get free pizza. At least they did when I worked at a pizza place many moons ago. There was even a separate code in the system when the pizza was for an officer. I would assume it is one of those unwritten I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine kind of a thing.

Many years ago, I was returning to Maine (where I was working) from Mass. (where I lived) at about 2 a.m. I had been playing in a baseball game and then stopped to see my parents for a bit.

I rolled through a stop sign in second gear, right on a road alongside the beach. There wasn't a soul in sight. Rent-a-summer-cop younger than me followed me 500 yards then pulled me over.

Him: You know you ran the stop sign?
Me: I rolled through it, yes. I didn't run through it.
Him: What if there was a child crossing the street on his tricycle?
Me: At 2 am, I'd arrest the parents and leave me the hell alone.

I was more than happy to pay that ticket. It was worth the price.

I work on Long Beach Island NJ, every year the traffic lights are turned off and the speed limit is raised from October until the week before Memorial Day. Last Monday, the first day they back on, as I was driving to work in the morning there was a cop driving down the main boulevard in a 30 mph zone. He was driving about 35mph and I was trying to be careful to mimic his speed and not pass him, he suddenly slammed on his brakes and stopped as I coasted by him....he immediately flips on his lights and pulls me over.

Cop: Liscense and registration please

me: surely

Cop: you know why I stopped you Mr. Kelley?

Me: actually, no

Cop: (laughs and says) I was stopped at a red light when you passed me back there...

Me: Awww ****....

Fortunately I have a squeaky clean driving record and he wasn't looking to be a dick about it, let me go with a warning...we even had a bit of a laugh over it.

The first week i had my drivers license i was cruising my small home town and rolled through a stop sign. Cop sees me i know it so i try and run. I get just out of sight and turn hard into a steakhouse parking lot and head into a alleyway and hit a backroad. Theres the cop IN FRONT OF ME with his lights on. I know im caught so i stop he never Even gets out of the car he pulls up and says who are you? I tell him. He says i know you were trying to run. Why? I say cause i didnt want to get a ticket. He laughs for a long time and says do it again and your in big trouble.

About 4 years ago, middle of the night in Brooklyn, truck gets pulled over for a plate that doesn't match and tinted windows. As the two cops approach, one on each side, the front passenger aims a .45 at the cop approaching his side of the car, who of course can't see him because of the tints. Guy opens fire, hits cop in the face twice. Rear passenger hits the partner in the arm and vest as the car pulls away. After a manhunt, all three perps are caught in PA and brought to justice, alive. The first cop dies a day later. Second cop recovers. First cop was 23 and only had a year on the job.

http://russeltimoshenko.com/

Next time a cop pulls you over and he's a dick, that's a little real life example of why. I'd rather you drive away thinking I was an a-hole if that gives me a little extra time to assess you, or better yet, scares you out of doing something you might have done, than be laying on the street as you pull away.

A few years back on a car stop, the passenger reached under the dash and wouldn't show me his hands. He was trying to stuff weed under the dash; I thought he was reaching for a gun. I grabbed his arm, bent it a little further than god intended, and broke it. Guy took a broken arm because he was trying to hide $10 worth of weed. Oh well, I went home safe. I thought that was kinda funny, just like some of the stories in the previous pages you guys laughed at.

Thought you might want to hear the other side and get a little perspective

There is a major difference in the cop being uptight and ready for action vs "Do stop signs just not work for you at night ****." Go back and stir the pot in the debate forum.

lol... There was some good advice in this one btw, like the one about poking sharks or whatever.

PS... considering some of the posts went much further than what you mentioned (guy with gun on back seat thinking he scared a cop inspired me to tell me story btw), just figured he might want to hear what could have happened to him.

I got another good one that would answer something else that was brought up, but I don't want to be accused of stirring the pot.

Airborneguy said:

(guy with gun on back seat thinking he scared a cop inspired me to tell me story btw)

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First of all (and not that it really matters), the gun was on the floor in the back, not on the seat within easy reach. Secondly, this was a very small rural college town 15 years ago with the worst crime being loud frat parties and underage drinking. The guy unjustifiably treated me with disrespect, period.

I couldn't read his mind, so I don't know that he was scared. But he sure acted like it.

I've been pulled over a few more times in my life for traffic violations, all by state troopers. And none of them ever treated me with such disrespect. So, in limited my experience, there is a reason for the stereotype of small town cops.

My whole point with that story was that if I violate traffic laws, fine... pull me over and serve justice. But don't treat me like a child in process just because you're a big fish in a small pond (that's not meant to be directed at you).

Maybe I'm just big on the whole respect thing. I treat people with respect and I expect to be treated likewise. Call me old fashioned.

pizzaman said:

Wow, so you were drinking at work, and then broke the law by drinking and driving. Gotta say I'm on the cops side on this and most other issues. If you're gonna take the chance to risk another persons life, no matter how good of a driver you are, you'd better just buck up if you happen to get pulled over and quit your whining. I have nothing but respect for police, even the dickheads and the crooked ones. They're out there every day doing a job to make this country a better place to live. Anyone who has a problem with cops has a problem with America and yadda yadda blah blah blah explicative you know where I'm going with this.

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Oh get a life you puritan hypocritical dickhead.

stevedasleeve said:

Oh get a life you puritan hypocritical dickhead.

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Relax. The guy's last log-in was two months before you even joined.

menschmaschine said:

Maybe I'm just big on the whole respect thing. I treat people with respect and I expect to be treated likewise. Call me old fashioned.

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I didn't say you were wrong, your story just made me want to tell the other side. I also come from a less-gun friendly area, so my reaction would obviously be affected by that.

I also meant to comment on the guy who said he respects dirty cops. That's a retarded comment. I can guarantee you that any real cop despises crooked, dirty criminals who disrespect the badge. Any civilian who respects them is downright stupid.

My ONE f-ing wish for this board - that threads auto-locked at 180 days.

My great grandfather was a cop in NY around prohibition. He used to brew his own beer.

Zombie thread...

Cops are like every other group in some ways; there are good eggs, and bad ones.

The difference is that when the cops make a mistake, overreact, allow a superiority complex to influence their decisions, or do something rash like break the wrong door and shoot your dog, they have the full and complete backing of their city and state to defend them.

purechaos said:

one time a cop pulled over a drunk driver and took them to jail, the driver was going to crash head on into me and my family while we were coming home from visiting with family.... Could have happened.

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wah wah waaaahhhhhhhh... and then he woke up and wiped his tears off his nose... the situation was about 1 beer...

When I was 16 I got pulled over for 31 in a 30 on an Air Force base. The cop was a total a$$ about it. Came to my window yelling about F***ing teenagers. He asked if I knew how fast I was going and I told him 22, (I just happened to be looking at my speedo when he turned on his lights) and could he please call his first sergeant. He asked why and I told him calmly that it would have been impossible for my 1981 Renault 18i station wagon to have made it to have made it to 31mph in the 100 feet or so from the front gate where I had stopped for an ID check to where he claimed to have clocked me.

At that point his supervisor pulled up and he quickly gave me back all my documents and walked back to his car yelling at me to watch my ass on HIS base. Gotta love a 19 year old airman with a gun and a badge.

All that said, about a year later I got pulled over on a county road a few miles from base doing 85 in a 45 at about 2am coming home from a lifeguarding job (school lock-in). The cop this time was very polite when he had me call my parents to come get me at the side of the road rather than taking me to the county lockup (reckless driving and reckless endangerment in Indiana for 40mph over). Ended up in a first offenders program and after six months of no problems the ticket disappeared.

i like the last post and the first one.. I say everybody keep telling funny and dumb stories

MeatyPortion said:

My great grandfather was a cop in NY around prohibition. He used to brew his own beer.

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In the City? If you send me his name I have ways to look for pictures of him if you want.

Airborneguy said:

In the City? If you send me his name I have ways to look for pictures of him if you want.

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No, he was in Jamestown, NY. His name was Jim MacCusker, though he may have spelled it "Mecusker" (thank you, Ellis Island immigration authorities). Thanks for the offer though.

No problem. There's a database of every old picture the Dept could get their hands on. We put in a request, and a few months later they return it with whatever they find. I did it for a friend once and thought it was pretty cool so I figured it was worth a shot.

Airborneguy said:

No problem. There's a database of every old picture the Dept could get their hands on. We put in a request, and a few months later they return it with whatever they find. I did it for a friend once and thought it was pretty cool so I figured it was worth a shot.

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Hey, if you think it might be in there then go for it. We don't have hardly any pictures of my ggf.

No he wouldn't, it's only NYPD.

Well thanks anyway.

masonsjax said:

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a Highway Traffic Cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop's heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow, but he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you're about to turn right. This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he is about to make 180 degree turn at speed... but you will be ready for it, braced for the G's and the fast heel toe work.

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Nicely said Hunter

I went to Stetson University in DeLand, FL, which is about 30 minutes from Daytona. Needless to say, the local cops absolutely hated anyone who wasn't in town for the 500. Since the only job I could find was in Daytona, I was stuck having to deal with them more than once...

It is worth saying that I am always respectful to police and (and try really hard to) never hand attitude back. I have several friends who are cops, and my wife was previously married to a cop. I have dealt with my fair share of a$$hole cops and usually came out ahead, but not always.

Overcast day, been raining for days. It has finally stopped raining and I am heading to work. Just pulled into Daytona (literally, sign is still in the rearview) and suddenly blues and reds in the rear view. I pull into the Steak and Shake parking lot and the cop comes up to the door with the sterotypical 'Super Trooper' swagger.

Him: 'You know why I pulled you over?'
Me: 'No.' (not being a dick, I really didn't know. )
Him: 'Your tags are expired'
Me: 'Really? I'm sorry, I thought I had to the end of the month (it was Oct. 23rd and the car was registered in my father's name, whose birthday was early in October). With school and work the only time I have had this month to go back to Tampa was last weekend. I got my emission inspection done and have the report here (gesturing at the glove box), but the tag office was closed on Saturday. I was going to head down this week and finish it up...'
[Note: the last sentence wasn't heard by Deputy Dog]
Him: '"Emission check?" What the hell are you talking about boy?' (yes, he called me 'boy')
Me: 'In Hillsborough Country we have to have our emissions checked before we can renew our tags.'
Him: 'Oh that's a bunch of bullsh**. You're a lying little a$$hole. Ain't no county in Florida that has such a rule.'
Me (any resembalance of decorum close to gone): 'Lying little a$$hole? Really? Why would I drive to Tampa and have my 6 month old car's emissions checked?'
Him: 'I don't know. Maybe you're a weirdo.'
Me: 'A "wierdo"? Is that really....[decorum lost, insert tirade here]'

I was going to school at a law school and spent my off time getting drunk with a bunch of pre-law frat guys. I wish I had the tirade on tape.... I am not proud, but there were some really good moments in there... Luckily for me I pulled over in the Steak n Shake and there was a crowd of people around him and I so he couldn't make anything up or I would have been in deep stuff. I filed a complaint with his superior and ended up finding out that he had a number of similar complaints against him. He ended up getting fired for doing basically the same thing to a very well connected local council member's daughter.

A few years ago there was a pretty bad snow/ice storm here and I took advantage by going to a nearby school (which was closed, kiddies were out for winter break) with a friend and do some crazy snowy driving. I had an 88 Crown Vic with a straight piped 5.0, so I drew even more attention to myself than doing donuts in a parking lot would have.

After about half an hour of drifting around corners and other silly things I'm in the middle of spinning around and see a cop pull into the parking lot. I finish spinning around and turn the car off. It was definitely a "hindsight is 20/20" kind of moment were I suddenly realized it probably wasn't the best idea to be disturbing the peace in the middle of the day.

He comes walking up with a little smile on his face and asks:

"hows it going today"

me: "oh I guess I'm about to find out"

He laughs a little "so your out here practicing cold weather driving huh?" with a little wink

I got the feeling he wasn't going to bust my chops about it so I start joking around about how driving in the snow is very dangerous as it's best to practice in the safety of a parking lot.

"yeah I just had to come down here because a few of the neighbors are complaining... you could just go somewhere else or wait until it's dark and then come back"

I thank him and he leaves "drive safe" still smiling. Didn't even check my papers or anything.

More recently, on my birthday, I was late to go pick up my girlfriend, and was quite eager to get my birthday "gift" so I'm doing 45 down Sandy blvd (35 zone) right before it crosses 82nd (to anyone who's local, as I know there are more than a few) weaving in and out of traffic. Same loud beat up crown vic. I notice in my mirror that there is, what was probably a late 90s tahoe or other SUV. He was basically chasing me matching my speed weaving in and out of traffic. I briefly thought it was a cop, but the fact it was a beat up old SUV when all the cops around here drive much newer cars made me sure it wasn't.

After probably a half mile of driving on go the red and blue lights behind the windshield, and I'm thinking I'm totally screwed. The cop, who I'm assuming was no regular cop as he had some kind of web gear/vest with street clothes underneath comes up and asks if I knew why he pulled me over

"I was driving like an idiot"

"yeah you were doing at least 45, and I was having a hard time catching up to you with you weaving through traffic like that"

"I'm sorry officer, it's my birthday and I'm on my way to see my girlfriend so I'm just in a big hurry, I know I shouldn't have been driving like that"

"Oh it's your birthday huh, can I see your license and proof of insurance?

After I hand him my papers: "well look at that, I'm going to let you off with a warning but you really need to slow down"

Both of these times I had very obviously illegal exhaust, no front plate, and expired tags. I still can't believe either turned out so well.

Whenever I have bad experiences with not so friendly cops I think back to these times to remind my self there are some really nice cops out there.

I used to race for my college ski team. There was a big award night once a year that was a black tie affair. Some people even showed up in tuxedos. I never once went in my car, because, free cocktails, duh. So I take a taxi to go there, party and proceed to lose my wallet. F?&%.

The night is winding down and I have about 5$ in change. Not enoguh for a taxi, but enough for the bus. The bus only took me so far, so I had about 40 minutes of walking to do afterward...

So I'm walking home after drinking about 8 gin tonics, in a dark grey suit with dress shoes when a police car drives past, stops and reverses. This is a rough translation of the dialogue.

"What are you doing out at night ?"
"Hi officer, I'm going back to my appartment to sleep."
"I asked what you are doing out, not where you are going"
"Well, I'm walking"
"Are you on drugs?"
"What, no officer, I've been drinking but..."
"Papers"
"I don't have any ID on me, I lost my wallet"
"How convenient. We have had a few house robberies in the evening, you don't know anything about that do you or will we have to take you to the police station to verify your identity ?"
"No"
"We are keeping an eye on you"

The whole thing lasted about 45 seconds. My first and last encounter with a cop that I would clearly call an a--hole.

jfr1111 said:

I used to race for my college ski team eh. There was a big award night once a year that was a black tie affair eh. Some people even showed up in tuxedos eh. I never once went in my car, because, free cocktails, duh eh. So I take a taxi to go there, party and proceed to lose my wallet eh. F?&% eh.

The night is winding down and I have about 5$ in change eh. Not enoguh for a taxi, but enough for the bus eh. The bus only took me so far, so I had about 40 minutes of walking to do afterward eh...

So I'm walking home after drinking about 8 gin tonics, in a dark grey suit with dress shoes when a police car drives past, stops and reverses eh. This is a rough translation of the dialogue eh.

"What are you doing out at night eh?"
"Hi officer, I'm going back to my appartment to sleep eh."
"I asked what you are doing out, not where you are going eh"
"Well, I'm walking eh"
"Are you on drugs eh?"
"What, no officer, I've been drinking but eh..."
"Papers eh"
"I don't have any ID on me, I lost my wallet eh"
"How convenient eh. We have had a few house robberies in the evening, you don't know anything about that do you or will we have to take you to the police station to verify your identity eh?"
"No eh"
"We are keeping an eye on you eh"

The whole thing lasted about 45 seconds. My first and last encounter with a cop that I would clearly call an a--hole eh.

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A likely story eh

As I'm approaching a traffic light to make a right turn, on green, I had to hit my brakes because two cars made left turns (from the oncoming lane). Both of those cars ran a red 'left turn' light. Soon as I make the turn I see a cop car at the exit of the corner gas station. Cop pulls out behind me and pulls me over.

He asks if I know why and I say no. He says; "You weren't wearing your seatbelt." So I ask him why he let two cars run a redlight into two lanes of oncoming traffic, during rush hour, in a school zone, in order to pull someone over who wasn't wearing their seatbelt. He had no answer but obv I got the $114 ticket.

In Florida, it's a $114 fine for not wearing your seatbelt...but it's perfectly legal to ride your motorcycle without a helmet. Makes sense.

SwampassJ said:

A likely story eh

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What is exactly the point of your post ?

Cops on the graveyard shift are usually the neanderthals of the cop station, as it should be. That time of day is usually filled with drunks, tweaks, and other addicts who think clearer after being beat down a little.

jfr1111 said:

What is exactly the point of your post ?

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Someones sense of humor got caught in customs.

cfonnes said:

Cops on the graveyard shift are usually the neanderthals of the cop station, as it should be. That time of day is usually filled with drunks, tweaks, and other addicts who think clearer after being beat down a little.

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7 years of midnights in Broolyn. Best 7 years of my life.